Emptiness

 

She never told me,

But I knew, I really did

It gave her away,

The cheerful mask behind which she hid

Suddenly there was an emptiness,

In those beautiful eyes

That I couldn't fathom

And which she couldn't hide with lies

She always tried to escape,

And looking into her eyes, I saw

Something broken behind them,

In a sparkling diamond, a crack, a flaw

She had needed me and I failed her,

Till today, I know not why?

I didn't ease her pain, her hurt,

Not once did I even try

Then one morning I rose,

To a feeling of emptiness, so fierce 

She was gone, leaving behind a note,

That was soaked in her tears

 

I keep it like a treasure,

Her only piece that was mine

It read, "Dad, I love you,

I'm sorry, I'll be fine"

I was filled with an ache,

That only losing your child can bring

I understood then the emptiness I had seen

For now, I felt the same thing

 

 She'd given up her baby,

It had changed her life forever,

My little girl, only sixteen

And now each of her ties, she'd sever

A conversation, a hug, she had needed

To let her know, I had cared

I wish I had told her, she wasn't alone

That I was also scared

......................................................................................................................................................................

 I read a novel recently in which a girl of eighteen, not sixteen like in my poem, runs away from home, as much as from herself, after going through the trauma of having an abortion about which she doesn't ,or rather, couldn't tell her father...but he knew...and I wrote these lines trying to capture his feelings, his point of view.

I didn't plan on writing this, it's a very difficult subject for me to write about but there were parts of the book that remained with me. 

There was another source of inspiration that actually made me think about this book again and  brought me the title of the poem, that came from words from another novel:

"It's like I'm an oyster. I've had this sharp speck inside me for a long time, and I've been trying to make it more comfortable, so slowly I've turned it into a pearl. But now it's finally being taken out, and just as it's going I'm realizing there's a gap being left behind, you know a dent in my belly where it used to sit. And so I kind of want to hold onto it for a little longer."

Both the novels are totally not related to and cannot be more different from each other but I found some lines which I felt evoked the same feelings in me and I wove them together.

As usual, I get inspired at the oddest of times! My exams start in less than a week and here I am struggling to give words to the emotions that refuse to die down...

The images were all found on Google. For those who want to know the names of the two novels: The one which inspired the plot is- Harvesting the Heart by Jodi Picoult, and the one which inspired the title is- The Reluctant Fundamentalist by Mohsin Hamid.

Hope you liked it :) Till next time then.

Aurora...55Fiction#5

With rosy fingers dropping dew, 

In red and blue, you enchant me

Spreading hope amongst man and beast,

In a chariot, rising out of the sea

Your golden tresses wild and free,

A rainbow of scintillant colors and light 

Leaving a trail of fire in the sky,

Each day you bring, a dawn so bright

...................................................................................................................................................................

Aurora means the first light of the day. I'm really fascinated by ancient Greek mythology and after I read in my dictionary (yeah, really!) about Aurora, the Goddess of dawn in Roman mythology who's the counterpart of the Greek Goddess, Eos, I could just imagine her all fiery and beautiful, coming out of the ocean in her winged chariot with all these colors surrounding her, just like it happens when dawn breaks and then I just wrote this down...When I searched for pics, I realized my imagination was almost accurate! :)

That beautiful first pic is of an “Aurora Borealis”, a luminous meteoric phenomenon named after the very same Roman Goddess of dawn (Aurora) and the Greek word for the north wind (Boreas). It's like a piece of art in the sky, or so I've heard.

Pic courtesy: The first of Aurora Borealis was taken from http://artsonearth.com/tag/natural, the second and third of Aurora are gifts from Google ;)

Hope you guys liked it :)

Goodnight!

Moments

Beauty, I see, as you run, 

                     Hair wild, arms open, bare feet

From the cool sand, into the cold water,

                     And the morning waves, you greet

Music, I hear as you laugh,

                   Mischievous, childlike, and innocent

Cheeks flushed with a rosy hue,

                   Which the morning air lent

A waltz, I imagine, you dance,

                  Graceful and elegant, each move

And the waves surge around you,

                  As if to a silent melody, they groove

Freedom, I experience, through you,

                  Arms thrown open, head held high

Ready to embrace the whole world,

                  Like the seagulls we see, free to fly

Dreamy, I feel, as you move again,

                 Winking, your full lips curve into a smile

As steps towards me you slowly take,

                 With fervor, ardor, I'm overwhelmed for a while

Love, I understand, as you take my hand,

                 Into my eyes you stare, awe and wonder

My fingers brush your cheek softly,

                In that moment, my soul, to you I surrender

Perfection, I experience, with you in my arms,

                Time stops, only heartbeats heard, no other sound

Together, we watch the sun rise over the ocean

                Life, in you, its meaning, I found

...................................................................................................................................................................

Life's meaning...sometimes you find it in those few perfect moments just looking at someone you love.  

Just a little something I penned down a while ago...hope you guys like it.

I'll be back soon, I promise :)

Pic courtesy: Google, and The Notebook (The movie).

Following Him Around!

Well, remember the little girl I've been telling you about, lately? She has one more very important person in her life...

Wearing a pretty little frock,

A red ribbon in her hair

The little one peddled away,

On her little bicycle, looking everywhere

She was sure he'd gone that way,

She'd seen him leave before

She'd asked him to wait for her,

But he had just run out the door

He'd left with his friends,

To her, they looked big and wise

She was just a little kid,

Just not one of the guys

Still she was determined to find him

She had no one else to go to

Who else would play with her?

No one, she thought, knowing it was true

Ringing her little bell,

She crossed over to another street,

Not seeing a big stone, she tripped

And got a big scratch on her feet

Big fat teardrops rolled down her cheek

As she saw a tear on her favorite dress

Her hands were scraped, so were her knees

Dirt and dust everywhere, she was a mess

She got up again slowly,

Picked up her cycle and walked

Sniffling but trying to be a big girl,

Still a little bit shocked

She reached the playground finally,

And breathed out in relief

There he was, with his friends

Now, he'd take away her grief

And he turned around,

As she called out his name

But his smile turned into a frown

And angry he became

And she got scared

As he walked towards her,

How annoyed he was the last time,

Now she seemed to remember

He seemed a bit embarrassed,

And roughly told her to go away

He didn't give her a chance to speak

He said he had to go back to play

As he started to turn away,

He noticed something on her knee

Her face red and swollen

The little frock torn and dusty

He felt a tinge of worry and shame,

And stopped down to see her properly,

With a finger, he brought her chin up

She was hurt, now he could see

He felt his heart twist painfully,

Because it hadn't been her fall alone

That had caused all the hurt

But a mistake of his own

He took her little hand in his,

And kissed her on the cheek

He told her, "I'm sorry kiddo"

And then started to speak

"You can play with me,

Any and every time you say"

"I'll teach you everything I know,

You'll be a pro one day"

As she smiled a little at that,

His game and friends, he forgot

And they started walking home

Like a big brother he thought

Never run ahead to leave her behind,

He'd always catch her if she fell

Just as she was to their parents,

She was his baby, as well

He'd scare her with spooky stories,

But then calm her down after a while

He'd fight with her like anything

Then make her laugh and smile

He'd be there for her each day,

He'd be her best friend

He'd give her advice without preaching

With her, he'd never pretend

While crossing the same street where she'd fallen,

The little girl had a thought of her own

She could follow her big brother around now

And she turned to whisper a thank you to the stone

...................................................................................................................................................................

This one was for my big brother's birthday on the 25th of October! <3

Pic Courtesy: Google!

Monsters Under My Bed

The little girl cried in her sleep,

And woke up with a start

She got down from her bed,

Clutching her doll to her heart

She walked slowly in the dark,

Her tiny bare feet shaking with fear

Out of her room and into the hallway,

A plump cheek red, the culprit a tear

She reached a closed door,

And pushed with all her might

She could just make out in the darkness,

Two figures silhouetted by the moonlight

She climbed onto the big bed, 

Reaching the tall man, she cuddled close

Sniffing silently, as she stared at him,

As he shifted a bit, she froze

The man woke up suddenly,

To the sound of a soft purr

Feeling little fingers clutching his shirt, 

He turned around, and saw her

He saw his little baby, her face red,

He felt his heart break into two

As she curled up next to him in fear,

Something was wrong, that he knew

He sat up and took her in his arms,

And he asked, "Sweetheart, are you okay?"

"What's the matter? Did you see a bad dream?"

But with her doll, she absently began to play.

She mumbled in her baby voice, 

Her eyes full of fright, as she nodded

"Daddy, I saw big monsters chasing me,

Because you forgot to check today under my bed"

The man felt his throat dry up,

And felt a love so strong

He felt an urge to keep her safe,

To shield her from everything wrong

He picked he up in his arms, 

Cradling her like the baby she was

And padded down quietly to her room,

To right the wrong, for which he was the cause

He tucked her into bed once more,

And then opened the closet and checked,

He looked under the bed and checked again

He assured her, that his little baby he'd always protect

"No monsters, no ghosts, no evil

Will ever get to you darling",

"Daddy will always be there for you

He'll keep you safe from everything"

He stroked her hair softly

And crooned for her, her favorite lullaby,

As her eyes fluttered close, he watched her

A fallen star that came to him from the sky

..................................................................................................................................................................

I've been away for a long while (many reasons)...so I'm going to post three poems today that I wrote during that period starting with this one!

I'd written this poem on my dad's birthday on the 22nd of October...Hope you all like it :)

Pic courtesy: Google (Don't know what I'd do without you! ;))

Mommy

The little girl stood there,

Tears welling up in her eyes

"Don't go please", she begged

"I won't say any goodbyes!"

Fear overtook the little one,

What was she supposed to do?

A plan hatched in her little mind,

And what a tantrum she threw

At least that delayed the moment,

For a while it would be the same

For she wasn't going to be left behind,

And that was her only aim

She cried her heart out,

And screamed liked a banshee

She stomped her feet on the ground,

What a little genius was she!

The woman watching this for a while,

Now walked towards the girl

She watched a tear roll down her cheek,

Shining like a perfect pearl

The little girl sneaked a peek,

Looked like her plan had been a success

For she saw the woman come towards her,

And she quickly forgot her distress

"You don't want me to leave?",

Asked the woman of the baby

"Never ever", came the soft reply,

"What ever the reason may be"

"Why is that?", the woman wondered,

Curious about what the child would say

The little one's answer, she never could've guessed

It simply took her breath away

"Because whenever you're away,

I feel so sad and blue

I never know anything,

Everything feels strange and new"

"Because whenever you're away,

Something refuses to fit

A piece from a puzzle or a game,

And I always have to quit"

"Because whenever you're away,

The days seem longer somehow,

The nights more darker,

No moonlight they allow"

"Because whenever you're away,

There's no one there to care,

No one to kiss away my bruises,

No one to braid my hair"

"Because whenever you're away,

I never get ice cream or cakes,

There's no one to talk to,

Or to heal my heart, if it breaks"

"Mommy, so please don't ever leave me,

Wherever you go, take me too

Without you I'd be lost forever,

Because that's how much I love you"

...................................................................................................................................................................

Happy 50th Birthday to the most beautiful woman on earth! I love you sooo much 'ma :* It's hard not to...you're the most amazing person I've ever known :) I hope we have a perfect day together today.

Thank you for always being there and always being who you are, for always knowing what to say and what to do, for always being our best friend, for always caring, for never letting go and never leaving us behind no matter what.

Hope you liked the post :) :*

The beautiful lady with me in the pic at the center is my mum. Ain't she gorgeous?! :)
Pic courtesy: The lovely Mystic :)
Rest of the pics are from my beloved Google :p

See you around guys :)

Mother, the ribbons of your love are woven around my heart.  ~Author Unknown

Tourmente

All I heard was a silence,

As the phone line went dead

So many angry words spoken,

So many true words, left unsaid

As the shock wore off,

I called you again and again

But each time, I just heard a silence,

I lost my chance, to explain

Trying to blink back a tear,

With my head bowed

I found my way outside,

Through the surrounding crowd

When a cool breeze touched me,

I lifted my head up to see

Black storm clouds and lightnings, 

As the heavens agreed with me

I stood there for a long time,

Remembering each word we'd said

Wondering what had led us here,

What there would be ahead

I felt so cold and alone,

All I saw was your beautiful face

As I closed my eyes,

And dreamed of your warm embrace

As I climbed up onto the bed

Body drenched from the rain,

Eyes tired from the tears,

Oblivion I sought desperately, to stop the pain

I woke up suddenly,

To the sound of the phone ringing

My head ached, as my heart beat faster

Trying to see the number, with my eyes stinging

I picked up the phone,

Heart singing, because it was you 

Last night vanished as you softly said those words,  

And I whispered back, I love you too

....................................................................................................................................................................

The weather here just turned awesome! Dark clouds, lightning, thunder, cool breeze...all the things I dream about :) I was standing on the roof, taking in the beauty of it all, and just thinking about some stuff when I felt the need to write...so, this happened. Hope you all liked it. It's been a while since I wrote something this long.
Tourmente means storm or turmoil in French :)

Both the beautiful pics are from Google this time...spent a long time trying to find the right ones.
Good night everyone! May the beautiful night give you lovely dreams :)

If Only

If only,

I could take back my words,

I'd say the right ones, and tell you,

How much you mean to me

If only,

I had another chance,

I'd spend each day of my life,

Making up, for every mistake, I made

If only,

I could stop time, for a moment,

I'd take that moment,

And live a lifetime with you

If only,

I could look at you once,

I'd remember each expression,

Each move that you make

If only,

I could hold your hand,

I would never let it go,

I'd be by your side, forever

If only,

I could take you in my arms,

I would feel alive again,

I'd find a reason to live

If only,

I could kiss your lips,

I would breathe again,

And, my soul would rejoice

If only,

I could spend my life with you,

I would be complete,

And, there would be no regrets

If only,

You would say yes,

I'd give you every happiness,

I'd make all your dreams come true,

I'd make you my world, my life

Each breath I'd take, would be for you

If only,

You would love me,

I'd be there in the end

I'd make every thing real, 

I'd be your best friend

I would love you,

More than there are stars in the sky,

More than the darkness of night, 

More than the vastness of space,

More than the heat, a fire could ignite

....................................................................................................................................................................

This one came to me suddenly, and I wrote it down in such a short time, which is very unusual for me because usually, it takes ages. The title and some of the feelings I felt while writing this down, came from the movie "If  Only". I found the movie beautiful, about second chances and, love and, mistakes...and regrets.

And, these lines from the song, "If Tomorrow Never Comes", by Ronan Keating, again, got all my emotions fired up!

"I made a promise to myself,

 To say each day, how much she means to me

 And avoid that circumstance,

 Where there's no second chance, to tell her how I feel

 If tomorrow never comes..."

Okay, so I hope you all liked it :) Good night guys. Sleep tight :)

The Answer (Guest Entry)

Here's a reply from my Dad...for the last  post. You're truly amazing Dad :* I love you so much :*

I too look at myself, in the mirror,

And sometimes, see a stranger there

I thought I knew, all the ropes, all the roads,

Now some times, I see a danger there

No, it’s not a writer’s block,

It’s just a blank wall, that blocks my vision

My eyes are wide open,

But they just seem, to stare into oblivion

Words are just no more my friends,

So they are not easy, to be spoken, or written

It’s not that I don’t want to say something,

It’s just that, all the right words are hidden

It’s just a phase I’m going through, right now,

I thought, I understood love & life, but I’m confused

There’s so much contradiction, so many conflicts

So much is going on in my world, it keeps me amused

You say, my words cast a spell,

That they were an inspiration, for you

I’m sorry if I disappointed you, my girl,

I promise to rise above this situation, for you

'Cause if you know me, you’ll know I’m a fighter,

With two negatives, I love to make a positive

Yes, you’ve given me a challenge, saying,

Not to leave the page blank, and to try to be creative

See, I've managed to pick up the courage,

And write these lines, only FOR YOU

From the blanks, I've tried to join the dots

With some words, I could find only for you

THANK YOU SWEETY,

YOU ARE MY INSPIRATION, YOU KNOW

YOU WILL HELP ME,

IN MY DESPERATION, OF THIS I’M SURE

....................................................................................................................................................................

Thank you, Dad. I loved this post. This is what I was talking about. You words are amazing, because you are too. I knew you'd bounce back, I've always known :*
You can visit my Dad's blog at http://john-anddreamscometrue.blogspot.in/
And the second picture, the one of me with my Dad, was taken by Mystic (http://i-me-mysolitude.blogspot.in/). Thanks, Amo, for the beautiful pic :)

An Inspiration

I look at you, and wonder,

What are you waiting for?

What do you need?

About what, are you not sure?

Why do you falter?

What is it, that stops you?

Which tide is it,

That you wish, to swim through?

I saw a world so different,

Through your eyes

A tear turned to laughter,

A sunset, to sunrise

Now, why is it,

That you deny me

Of words of love and romance,

Those of winds, and the sea?

I crave to hear the words,

That you once weaved, out of little

Nothing else could give me,

The joy, they would bring

What is it, that inspires you?

I know not, what is wrong

I write now, to make you understand,

What I had known, all along

Your words cast a spell,

They're an inspiration to me,

If that light inside you, fades away,

So will the world, I love to see 

....................................................................................................................................................................

This post was written on a whim...for someone who really should know how good he is...my Dad :* I know it's not a writer's block that's stopping you from writing, please don't stop...I hope you find this post an inspiration, maybe just in a way that you can write me a reply to it?

You're amazing at this, Dad, and I can't wait to read your words, weaved into beautiful poetry or writing, something that takes me into another world altogether, something that inspires me...

I love you, do it for me please :* 

Don't leave that page blank,

Fill it with your thoughts

Pick up that pen now,

Let's start joining the dots

:)

  

The beautiful picture present at the end is by R. Yuvashree(http://uv-yura.blogspot.in/). Thanks a lot, Yuvva :* 

Good Night, Guys...Dream beautiful dreams :) 

An Evening in Paradise

We sit close, with fingers intertwined

In a valley, in the middle of nowhere

The earth laughs, with flowers,

As their colors weave a magic, so rare

We lie down among the flowers,

Watching red ink flow, on a blue parchment

As the evening sky, gets a crimson tinge

With the beauty which the setting sun, lent

A sweet smelling breeze touches us

And whispers of love, we hear,

In the magical scent, of jasmines

As the first signs of darkness, appear

The last of the birds fly home,
And the twilight fades away, into the night
As stars appear, in the meadows of heaven
We fall in love again, under the soft light

We listen to the crickets chirp,
And each of the sounds, the night brings
The tinkling of a spring, nearby,
The song that a solitary bird, sings

The moon appears soon,
And pieces of cloud, scatter and glide
As the stars sing their lullaby,
I fall asleep, with you by my side

Moments later, my eyes open
We're in our bed, and I realize
Just a moment, spent in your arms,
Could give me an evening, in paradise

....................................................................................................................................................................

This one gave me a lot of trouble! It just wouldn't come out the way I wanted :( ...until it finally did ;) I should tell you, that I was totally inspired when I heard someone say the words, "Just like a picnic in heaven", and I played around with the idea for sometime...and finally, you're looking at the result!:)

Thanks to you who gave me this idea :) I owe you ;)

Hope you guys like it :)
Good Night...I  hope you all sleep well, as the stars sing their lullaby ;) :)

Oh yeah, and the above picture is from the movie, Twilight...I don't own it. It's the only picture I found, that was the closest to what had imagined. 

The Woman He Would Always Love

He woke up in the middle of the night

And lay still, thinking about the dream he'd just had

It seemed, it was a dream more real than reality 

A perfection to which, nothing he'd ever add

Smiling then, he turned to his side

And looked at the face he'd seen, just a while ago

He watched as she slept like a baby, and remembered

Each memory that they'd made together, and felt the emotions flow

She had seemed no older than a child,

The day that into his life, she'd first flown

Big eyes full of trust, a smile like sunshine

Two braids swinging, with a life of their own

He hadn't spared a thought on her then,

Hadn't given her a second glance

Little had he known, that she was the one he'd waited for

That it was the beginning, of a lifelong romance

Soon they got to know each other,

And he was amazed that now he had a friend

With whom, he who could be himself and share his dreams

Someone with whom, he had no need to pretend

As the days went by, he realized how special she was,

And the dreamer inside him weaved up fantasies about her

He knew he had fallen for this beauty

As feelings unknown, within him she could stir

He wrote passionate letters, and poems and songs

As to woo her, hundreds of ways he designed

At times devious, at times the picture of chivalry

To have her, was the only thought that was always on his mind

His efforts hadn't gone unanswered,

His labor of love hadn't been in vain

As the cupid's arrow struck her too

His happiness knew no bounds and in that way,

forever he would remain

For her laughter brought wonder into his world, 

Her child-like happiness gave to his life, a reason

Her funny expressions, and madness at times

Brought into his life, the beauty of each season

She wouldn't let him give in when he stumbled

For she was the only one, who knew him inside out

She fought for him, and became a part of his soul

And dreamed of the things, that he dreamed about

She got lost somewhere in between, 

But he knew she was stubborn and strong

She'd find her way back to him, to her haven

She'd remember that his arms were where, she would always belong

As he looked at her now, in the darkness

With the soft moonlight casting a halo around her, as she slept in peace

He felt sure that the keeper of stars had joined their hearts,

And his love for her with each passing day, would only increase

For she was the woman, he would always love

She would always be his inspiration and pride

She would always catch him, if he were to fall

She would always be the one who would walk by his side

....................................................................................................................................................................

No guesswork needed here, right? This poem is totally dedicated to my Mom :) and Dad's love for her...I've been wanting to write about her for sometime now...She's a mother and a child at the same time, always full of joy and as I told her a few days ago, when I think about her, it's always like thinking about sunshine...bright, warm, smiling, comforting, beauty, laughter, dancing around the shadows and always finding a way to get past them...just totally pure and angelic :):):)

 Hope you all liked it, especially you, for whom the poem is written...an inspiration not only to Dad (who sometimes denies it, but is totally lying. I know, well, because I always know;)) but to your silly little daughter too...Love you loads 'ma, just the way you are...very special :)

Good night guys, I'm feeling all 'Christmasy' and red-and-green! :D Love this season and what it does to me :)

Till next time then... 

A Dream and a Wish...

On the stones along the pathway,
To hear your footsteps, my ears I strain
And for a long time, that's where I stay
But all I hear, is the soft patter of rain

The wind's starting to get wild now,
And I'm drenched to the bone
The trees sway, and I feel that somehow
They speak a language, that I understand alone

They tell me to leave, and never to look back
Because a storm's coming, and you know what they say
It brings pain and destruction with each attack
Punishing each and everything in its way

Tears mix with rain drops, as I still stand there
I still wait, ignoring each warning sign
For no storm could sway, a trust so deep and rare
And suddenly from far away, I hear a clock chime nine

Time has come but where are you?
I can't take it anymore, my mind starts playing a game
Because each shadow and silhouette too
Reminds me of you, but the forlorn night remains the same

I lift my head to the sky, to see the stars wink
But all I see today, are the darkest of clouds floating by
Finally, my shoulders slump and I feel my heart sink
I cast one last glance over my shoulder, and let the hope that's inside me, die

Maybe I didn't wish hard enough for you tonight
But that is not possible, no one could make a wish so deep
Because with each breath, I wish for your sight
Even if it's for a fantasy I dream, while I sleep

There's a battle within me, that stops me from waking
Not until I see you, will it end
And in my dream, I suddenly feel my saddened heart sing
And the broken pieces start to mend

For I see you move towards me, as first rays of the sun appear
And a rainbow apologizes for the angry sky
But still, things remain confused in my mind and and thoughts unclear
Is it a dream that brings me to you or beside me, you really lie?

Because you are a dream at night and a wish in the morn
All day I long to see your face, even if it's from afar
And each day I know that the dream will be reborn
To be with you somewhere, beyond a distant star

....................................................................................................................................................................

So, again I don't know what brought this on suddenly...there were some thoughts bouncing around in my mind and then I read some beautiful lyrics, "A dream in the night", and it sort of got me to do this instead of inspiring me to study for my Java practical tomorrow which I really, really should have done :p Oh anyway, please let me know if you liked it, poetry and me is a really new combo which I haven't explored much, so just giving it a shot :)
And tomorrow is the day when I finally finish with my awfully long (it really felt looong :D) 5th sem at college...Yay! *jumping, jumping*
Okay, good night everyone :)

An intangible connection...

All day long I've been feeling so restless...can't focus on anything for more 

than a few minutes, it's like something's amiss and I can't figure out what it is...So finally, in what seemed to be like the nth futile attempt (hmph!) in calming down my mind, I picked up an old book of poems (The Golden Treasury) I'd found a few days back while rummaging through some old novels and books stacked away in cardboard boxes. It's really quite old, you know, the kind of book with its pages stained so that they look all yellow and brownish, torn at places...and the paper looked so brittle, making me hesitate to even touch it in fear that it might just crumble into pieces. I guess that's what gives the book so much character...On the third page I found my grandmother's (nana's) name dated 1974 and I don't know why but it felt so strange going through her book, like it found me, like she left it for me...and I felt so warm suddenly, not because of the beautiful poetry (half of which, I admit, I do not understand at all ;)) but because of small notes written here and there, lines underlined, words and paragraphs circled, pencil marks...It got me wondering what she must have been thinking about while reading a particular verse, why she had found some parts particularly interesting? Where she must have been sitting while reading that verse? What she must have been wearing? Was she alone at that time or did she and grandpa share this together? Was she lost in her thoughts, trying to find a little peace and solitude , trying to calm down her mind just like me? All at once, I was able to conjure up an image of her in one of her beautiful sundresses comfortably sitting in a sunny veranda somewhere, rocking away in her rocking chair...and even though I never got a chance to meet her (she died before I was born), I suddenly felt so close to her, like there was something intangible between us...and this last attempt of mine didn't turn out to be useless at all...All's calm now.