Diaries, Lobsters, Forevers and other clichés.

Dear Ma and Dada,

I know you're totally confused about the title right now. I assure you, you'll understand soon enough. I wanted to write a poem for your anniversary but my tired brain isn't of any use right now except sifting through random thoughts, and then getting all excited and weird about them.

These thoughts of course started with images of both of your smiling faces in my mind; 'ma in her beautiful bluish purplish colorful sari, and dad in the reddish maroonish shirt from the photos you sent me last evening. Beautiful colors which together made me think about love birds with their vivid colors, their chirping and their everlasting love; kind of like you guys, huh? Love birds. That's what I'd thought would be the title of my poem, which in the end I couldn't write. Love birds. They made me think of lobsters. I told you I get weird sometimes. I'll explain.

You know I used to watch that show called 'Friends' like crazy, right? The one you thought was stupid, Dad :D Well anyway, in one episode, one of the totally awesome characters, Phoebe says something like this:

"It's a known fact that lobsters fall in love and mate for life. You know what? You can actually see old lobster couples walkin' around their tank, you know, holding claws."

This kinda stuck with me. It's silly and sweet at the same time. I did some fact checking, and this isn't technically true but even then, the idea of mating for life and growing old together, and knowing only one love all your life is a wonderful thought which gets a small satisfied/wishful sigh out of me. So, I think about you both and then I think about lobsters and say, "Wow! Dada is 'ma's lobster and vice versa!" Not so stupid now, huh?! :P Thinking about you two is synonymous to thinking about "forevers", "fairy tales", "magic", "romance" and other such mythical things normal human beings like me are in awe of. Extraordinary, that's the word. Awe is another. And whenever I think about things to be in awe of, my mind inevitably takes me to the world of books and words, and people who write these words. Which made me think of diaries.

Diaries. Such strange things. Our relationship with them starts out platonic and detached. We bore them with excruciating details of the day to day activities of our mundane lives. Slowly, we form a bond. We start sharing feelings: anger, resentment, grudges at first; happiness, humor, sadness follow soon; elation, pain, fear, excitement after some time. Our relationship grows as we become friends who gossip and share secrets about crushes and then about life, and eventually we go onto become friends who would take these secrets to the grave. The most powerful feelings of love, trust and faith seal this relationship and change it into something rare, something beautiful, something that lasts forever. So, I hope you see how diaries remind me of you two. Platonic. Friends. Best Friends. Love. Forever. Sound familiar? Apart from this, there is that other thing that 'ma always used to say. 'ma, remember how you told me that you stopped writing in your old diary because dad became your diary, the one you'd write in forever? Well, things like that make a romantic like me swoon!

So, the point of this rambling was just to give you a few examples to show you how both of you manage to beat the odds. Cynics will just hate you guys for proving them wrong. I have watched you from afar and observed you from up close, I have lived with you and grown up in the family that you started, so I think that is enough for me to be an apt judge on love and life, for now :) And the judge has ruled that you both make the most ridiculous and soppy of clichés worth believing in, because looking at you, I know and I believe that dreams and reality can be one, and that forevers are possible. And that is something most people can't even dream of having. 

This is where I end this odd write up. I guess this was my way of saying that I'm glad I ended up being this crazy kid with crazier dreams, and I want to thank you both because I'm me because of you. Because of how you raised me, and because of how you love each other.

I love you. And I love your love for each other. I'm so proud to be your daughter.

Happy 30th anniversary! 30 beautiful, amazing, extraordinary years...and here's raising a toast to millions of similar years that I know are ahead.

Kisses,

Sweety

P.S. I'm too weird, I know. You don't have to tell me.

P.P.S. Thank you for giving me Appu.

Emptiness

 

She never told me,

But I knew, I really did

It gave her away,

The cheerful mask behind which she hid

Suddenly there was an emptiness,

In those beautiful eyes

That I couldn't fathom

And which she couldn't hide with lies

She always tried to escape,

And looking into her eyes, I saw

Something broken behind them,

In a sparkling diamond, a crack, a flaw

She had needed me and I failed her,

Till today, I know not why?

I didn't ease her pain, her hurt,

Not once did I even try

Then one morning I rose,

To a feeling of emptiness, so fierce 

She was gone, leaving behind a note,

That was soaked in her tears

 

I keep it like a treasure,

Her only piece that was mine

It read, "Dad, I love you,

I'm sorry, I'll be fine"

I was filled with an ache,

That only losing your child can bring

I understood then the emptiness I had seen

For now, I felt the same thing

 

 She'd given up her baby,

It had changed her life forever,

My little girl, only sixteen

And now each of her ties, she'd sever

A conversation, a hug, she had needed

To let her know, I had cared

I wish I had told her, she wasn't alone

That I was also scared

......................................................................................................................................................................

 I read a novel recently in which a girl of eighteen, not sixteen like in my poem, runs away from home, as much as from herself, after going through the trauma of having an abortion about which she doesn't ,or rather, couldn't tell her father...but he knew...and I wrote these lines trying to capture his feelings, his point of view.

I didn't plan on writing this, it's a very difficult subject for me to write about but there were parts of the book that remained with me. 

There was another source of inspiration that actually made me think about this book again and  brought me the title of the poem, that came from words from another novel:

"It's like I'm an oyster. I've had this sharp speck inside me for a long time, and I've been trying to make it more comfortable, so slowly I've turned it into a pearl. But now it's finally being taken out, and just as it's going I'm realizing there's a gap being left behind, you know a dent in my belly where it used to sit. And so I kind of want to hold onto it for a little longer."

Both the novels are totally not related to and cannot be more different from each other but I found some lines which I felt evoked the same feelings in me and I wove them together.

As usual, I get inspired at the oddest of times! My exams start in less than a week and here I am struggling to give words to the emotions that refuse to die down...

The images were all found on Google. For those who want to know the names of the two novels: The one which inspired the plot is- Harvesting the Heart by Jodi Picoult, and the one which inspired the title is- The Reluctant Fundamentalist by Mohsin Hamid.

Hope you liked it :) Till next time then.

Following Him Around!

Well, remember the little girl I've been telling you about, lately? She has one more very important person in her life...

Wearing a pretty little frock,

A red ribbon in her hair

The little one peddled away,

On her little bicycle, looking everywhere

She was sure he'd gone that way,

She'd seen him leave before

She'd asked him to wait for her,

But he had just run out the door

He'd left with his friends,

To her, they looked big and wise

She was just a little kid,

Just not one of the guys

Still she was determined to find him

She had no one else to go to

Who else would play with her?

No one, she thought, knowing it was true

Ringing her little bell,

She crossed over to another street,

Not seeing a big stone, she tripped

And got a big scratch on her feet

Big fat teardrops rolled down her cheek

As she saw a tear on her favorite dress

Her hands were scraped, so were her knees

Dirt and dust everywhere, she was a mess

She got up again slowly,

Picked up her cycle and walked

Sniffling but trying to be a big girl,

Still a little bit shocked

She reached the playground finally,

And breathed out in relief

There he was, with his friends

Now, he'd take away her grief

And he turned around,

As she called out his name

But his smile turned into a frown

And angry he became

And she got scared

As he walked towards her,

How annoyed he was the last time,

Now she seemed to remember

He seemed a bit embarrassed,

And roughly told her to go away

He didn't give her a chance to speak

He said he had to go back to play

As he started to turn away,

He noticed something on her knee

Her face red and swollen

The little frock torn and dusty

He felt a tinge of worry and shame,

And stopped down to see her properly,

With a finger, he brought her chin up

She was hurt, now he could see

He felt his heart twist painfully,

Because it hadn't been her fall alone

That had caused all the hurt

But a mistake of his own

He took her little hand in his,

And kissed her on the cheek

He told her, "I'm sorry kiddo"

And then started to speak

"You can play with me,

Any and every time you say"

"I'll teach you everything I know,

You'll be a pro one day"

As she smiled a little at that,

His game and friends, he forgot

And they started walking home

Like a big brother he thought

Never run ahead to leave her behind,

He'd always catch her if she fell

Just as she was to their parents,

She was his baby, as well

He'd scare her with spooky stories,

But then calm her down after a while

He'd fight with her like anything

Then make her laugh and smile

He'd be there for her each day,

He'd be her best friend

He'd give her advice without preaching

With her, he'd never pretend

While crossing the same street where she'd fallen,

The little girl had a thought of her own

She could follow her big brother around now

And she turned to whisper a thank you to the stone

...................................................................................................................................................................

This one was for my big brother's birthday on the 25th of October! <3

Pic Courtesy: Google!

Monsters Under My Bed

The little girl cried in her sleep,

And woke up with a start

She got down from her bed,

Clutching her doll to her heart

She walked slowly in the dark,

Her tiny bare feet shaking with fear

Out of her room and into the hallway,

A plump cheek red, the culprit a tear

She reached a closed door,

And pushed with all her might

She could just make out in the darkness,

Two figures silhouetted by the moonlight

She climbed onto the big bed, 

Reaching the tall man, she cuddled close

Sniffing silently, as she stared at him,

As he shifted a bit, she froze

The man woke up suddenly,

To the sound of a soft purr

Feeling little fingers clutching his shirt, 

He turned around, and saw her

He saw his little baby, her face red,

He felt his heart break into two

As she curled up next to him in fear,

Something was wrong, that he knew

He sat up and took her in his arms,

And he asked, "Sweetheart, are you okay?"

"What's the matter? Did you see a bad dream?"

But with her doll, she absently began to play.

She mumbled in her baby voice, 

Her eyes full of fright, as she nodded

"Daddy, I saw big monsters chasing me,

Because you forgot to check today under my bed"

The man felt his throat dry up,

And felt a love so strong

He felt an urge to keep her safe,

To shield her from everything wrong

He picked he up in his arms, 

Cradling her like the baby she was

And padded down quietly to her room,

To right the wrong, for which he was the cause

He tucked her into bed once more,

And then opened the closet and checked,

He looked under the bed and checked again

He assured her, that his little baby he'd always protect

"No monsters, no ghosts, no evil

Will ever get to you darling",

"Daddy will always be there for you

He'll keep you safe from everything"

He stroked her hair softly

And crooned for her, her favorite lullaby,

As her eyes fluttered close, he watched her

A fallen star that came to him from the sky

..................................................................................................................................................................

I've been away for a long while (many reasons)...so I'm going to post three poems today that I wrote during that period starting with this one!

I'd written this poem on my dad's birthday on the 22nd of October...Hope you all like it :)

Pic courtesy: Google (Don't know what I'd do without you! ;))

Mommy

The little girl stood there,

Tears welling up in her eyes

"Don't go please", she begged

"I won't say any goodbyes!"

Fear overtook the little one,

What was she supposed to do?

A plan hatched in her little mind,

And what a tantrum she threw

At least that delayed the moment,

For a while it would be the same

For she wasn't going to be left behind,

And that was her only aim

She cried her heart out,

And screamed liked a banshee

She stomped her feet on the ground,

What a little genius was she!

The woman watching this for a while,

Now walked towards the girl

She watched a tear roll down her cheek,

Shining like a perfect pearl

The little girl sneaked a peek,

Looked like her plan had been a success

For she saw the woman come towards her,

And she quickly forgot her distress

"You don't want me to leave?",

Asked the woman of the baby

"Never ever", came the soft reply,

"What ever the reason may be"

"Why is that?", the woman wondered,

Curious about what the child would say

The little one's answer, she never could've guessed

It simply took her breath away

"Because whenever you're away,

I feel so sad and blue

I never know anything,

Everything feels strange and new"

"Because whenever you're away,

Something refuses to fit

A piece from a puzzle or a game,

And I always have to quit"

"Because whenever you're away,

The days seem longer somehow,

The nights more darker,

No moonlight they allow"

"Because whenever you're away,

There's no one there to care,

No one to kiss away my bruises,

No one to braid my hair"

"Because whenever you're away,

I never get ice cream or cakes,

There's no one to talk to,

Or to heal my heart, if it breaks"

"Mommy, so please don't ever leave me,

Wherever you go, take me too

Without you I'd be lost forever,

Because that's how much I love you"

...................................................................................................................................................................

Happy 50th Birthday to the most beautiful woman on earth! I love you sooo much 'ma :* It's hard not to...you're the most amazing person I've ever known :) I hope we have a perfect day together today.

Thank you for always being there and always being who you are, for always knowing what to say and what to do, for always being our best friend, for always caring, for never letting go and never leaving us behind no matter what.

Hope you liked the post :) :*

The beautiful lady with me in the pic at the center is my mum. Ain't she gorgeous?! :)
Pic courtesy: The lovely Mystic :)
Rest of the pics are from my beloved Google :p

See you around guys :)

Mother, the ribbons of your love are woven around my heart.  ~Author Unknown

What I Have To Say...

Okay, so anybody reading this post, please read the two below this first...because you have to read them to understand what I say here...

THEIR LOVE STORY...

I love Erich Segal's 'Love Story', but he had it all wrong,
To Jenny and Oliver does the greatest love story not belong.
I've been watching the greatest love story of all times, unfold in front of  my eyes for so long,
It belongs to my parents - Sudha and John.

Whenever I look at them, I always wonder,
And the looks they give each other is enough for me to surrender
That love must be as beautiful as they make it seem,
It's enough to make me wish for it, it's enough to make me dream.

They fell in love, they were so young
Each new path that was together discovered, each new song that was sung
Was done with a passion, for each, the other came first,
They started their beautiful journey, full of dreams and trust.

They were blessed with a babe, as their love grew,
They showered all their love on the little one, they couldn't believe another dream had come true.
It held a family now, the little home they had built together,
After all, he was was father now, and she was a mother.

Years flew by, the babe was now a mischievous little boy,
He was the apple of their eyes and filled their hearts with joy.
When they looked at him, they knew they couldn't have asked for more,
Little did they know of the plan God had for them in store.

Seven happy years down the road, she found out another child she was to bear,
And so astonished was she, all she could do was stare.
And then she found out, complications there might be,
And her soon to be born baby, she might never even see.
She was shocked and she was scared,
For she knew, for the baby inside her, she already cared.
She cried and with God she made deals,
"Keep my baby safe", were her repeated appeals.

She told her husband about the baby, anxious of what he'd say,
But she needn't have worried 'cause he picked her right up in his arms and up the stairs, they made their way.
She told him of her fears,
But he wiped away her tears.
Together they told God that they'd fill the baby's life with love and do everything in their might,
To keep its future shining and bright.

God listened to their prayers,
He knew the love in their hearts, with the child they'd share.
And then came the day when into their lives a fallen star strayed,
Their happiness knew no bounds as now they had everything they had ever craved.

He fell in love for the third time, when he held in his arms his baby girl,
She was a gem to him now, She was his pearl.
He sang to her every night, roaming in the hall with her in his arms,
She seemed as fascinated by him as her mother, and fell for his charms.

Now, let's not forget the little boy, who'd always wanted a brother with whom football he'd play.
And even though now he had a kid sister, when he looked at her, any the regrets he might have had just flew away.
When he picked her up, she tried to pull out his teeth and explored his face with a tiny hand,
And he thought of the things that he'd teach her one day, smiling as he planned.

All three of them, Man, Woman an Child,
Taught the little girl the values of life and onto her, their love they piled.
As they looked at their babies together,
Each felt blessed they'd had the chance to have this with the other.

And now, thirty years have passed since the day they first met,
They admit, they had rights as well as wrongs, but trust in each other they always kept.
He says now that he loves her more than ever,
She says, her love for him will end never.

Their children, one, twenty seven now, the other twenty,
Know that they have reasons to be proud of them plenty.
They know their parents and see them as one,
They know of no one else, who do things for each other that they have done.

And as they celebrate their twenty eighth anniversary today, we look at them and wonder if love so true we'll ever know,
All we wish now is that happiness follow them wherever they go.
As hand in hand, each step they take,
Other beautiful memories for their love story, they make.

So, I hope this little effort of mine,
Gave this special day, a little more shine.
I love you both, more than the vastness of space,
And hope love, warmth and laughter fill all your days.

Cathy
27/08/2011

Happy Anniversary, have a great day guys :)
I love you :* 

For anyone's whose still wondering, the two poems below were written by my parents, starting with the first by my mom, followed by the one written by my dad (you can see them in the pic :p). Anyway, this is like the first time I'm going public with my silly poetry and I'm nervous as anything so please spare me all the harsh criticism that I know is on its way...;)

But this post is dedicated to my parents...so I just hope they like it :)
Good night every one...have a very important exam in the morning, loads left to study so i'll be on my way...

Let's Hear What They Have To Say First...

SHE WRITES...

TO MY BEST FRIEND...

I was sitting here thinking,
Of the words I want to say.
But they just wouldn't come out right,
So I found a different way.

I got a piece of paper,
And wrote this poem for you.
But there's no way to thank you,
For every thing you do.

For always being nice to me,
And staying by my side.
For helping me fix my problems,
And never leaving me behind.

For accepting my thoughts and feelings,
Even those you don't understand.
For never giving up on me,
And being my best friend.

For making me laugh,
And letting me cry.
And saying you'd miss me,
If I were to die.

Everything you mean to me,
You could never know.
In all the ways you've changed my life,
I could never show.

The way you take care of me,
You're my shining star.
And though it's so incredible,
That's just the way you are.

Before I get too mushy,
It's time for me to go.
But before I leave this ink-filled page,
There's one thing you should know.

As long as we are living,
If you need me, just call and I'll be there.

I'll climb a thousand mountains,
And swim a thousand seas.
Anything to be there,
'Cause you've been there for me.

Sudha
26/11/2011

Let's Hear What They Have To Say First...

AND THEN HE SAYS...

AND  DREAMS  COME TRUE………

THIS IS A LOVE STORY, IT STARTED 30 YEARS AGO………..

THEN I WAS YOUNG, I WAS LONELY.

BUT I WAS A DREAMER,

I DREAMED OF LOVE

& SOMEONE WHO’LL LOVE ME & ME ONLY.

I HAD GOOD FRIENDS, BUT A VERY FEW,

I LOVED GOOD BOOKS, MUSIC & MOVIES TOO.

THEN ONE DAY FROM OUT OF THE BLUE,

I MET THIS BEAUTIFUL GIRL

WHOM IT SEEMED I ALWAYS KNEW.

SHE STEPPED STRAIGHT IN TO MY HEART,

AS IF SHE KNEW RIGHT FROM THE START.

IT WAS THE PLACE,

FOR WHICH, ONLY SHE HELD THE KEY.

I KNEW FROM THAT MOMENT,

LOVE HAD HAPPENED TO ME.

SHE BECAME MY SOUL MATE, MY BEST FRIEND

WE SHARED OUR VIEWS ON AUTHORS, BOOKS,

MOVIES ….THE TOPICS NEVER SEEMED TO END.

I TOLD HER, “A FRIEND IS A PRESENT YOU GIVE TO YOURSELF”

SHE WAS & WILL BE THE ONE, WITH WHOM I DON’T HAVE TO PRETEND.

DAYS WERE LIKE A DREAM, WITH HER NEAR & AROUND ME

EVENINGS WERE THE TIME TO PART,

LEAVING ME WITH A HEAVY HEART,

NIGHTS WERE MAGIC, WHERE HER

SWEET MEMORIES WOULD ALWAYS SURROUND ME.

OH, HOW CAN I EXPLAIN THE FEELING OF LOVE?

IT’S SOMETHING MAGICAL? DIVINE?  IT COMES FROM ABOVE?

ONE CAN’T FIND THE WORDS TO EXPRESS IT,

BUT WHEN TRUE LOVE COMES TO YOU, IT COMES ON

THE WINGS OF A DOVE.

SHE WAS THE ONE WHO CHANGED MY LIFE,

IT WAS NOT VERY LONG BEFORE WE BOTH SAID,

“I LOVE YOU ”

SOON WE WALKED DOWN THE AISLE TO SAY,

“I DO”

AND WE BECAME MAN & WIFE.

BUT BEFORE THIS, THERE WAS TROUBLE FROM PARENTS AND FRIENDS.

THE WHOLE WORLD WAS TRYING TO TELL US IT’S WRONG,

BUT WE KNEW THIS WOULD PASS IF WE JUST STOOD STRONG.

THOSE WERE JUST THE TRIALS AND TESTS OF OUR LOVE,

BUT WE KNEW THAT TRUE LOVE ALWAYS WINS IN THE END.

  

I MUST CONFESS, THERE HAVE BEEN ROUGH TIMES,

HEARTACHES & HEARTBREAKS, ALONG WITH THE GOOD TIMES.

BUT EVEN THROUGH THOSE DARK DAYS OF GLOOM,

OUR LOVE STILL PREVAILS, OUR LOVE ALWAYS SHINES.

AND WE STARTED A FAMILY

AS TIME PASSED BY, WE BUILT ‘FANTASIA’, OUR HOME,

WHERE IT FEELS A LITTLE BIT LIKE HEAVEN, WE CALL IT OUR OWN.

IT’S STILL THE PLACE WHERE LOVE & HAPPNESS, CARING & SHARING 

HAVE GROWN LIKE A GREAT OAK TREE.

SHE GAVE ME ALL THE HAPPINESS, I REALLY NEVER KNEW,

I COULD ALWAYS SEE HER LOVE, IN EVRY THING SHE’D DO.

SHE GAVE ME ALL HER LOVE, HER TRUST

WITH ALL THE UNERSTANDING AND CARE,

TWO WONDERFUL GIFTS WHOM WE LOVE & CHERISH, EVERY DAY.

EVERY THING SEEMS COMPLETE IN THIS WONDERFUL WORLD WE SHARE.

IT’S 28 YEARS, SINCE THAT DAY WE BOTH SAID, ‘I DO’

AND I STILL LOVE HER LIKE CRAZY, AND I KNOW SHE DOES TOO.

THIS IS ALL I CAN THINK OF, OR I WANT TO SAY

SHE’S MY DREAM COME TRUE, SHE’S MY LIFE

SHE’S IN MY LIFE, FOREVER TO STAY.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO YOU, SUE,

THIS IS OUR LOVE STORY, SO SIMPLE BUT TRUE,

I WANT YOU TO KNOW, I’LL ALWAYS LOVE YOU

YOU ARE THE REASON ALL MY DREAMS HAVE COME TRUE,

AND YOU MUST BE KNOWING THAT I STILL ADORE YOU.

JOHN

29.11.2011

Winter's here!

Ohh yeah...it sure has arrived - okay, okay many may not agree with me (those with their AC's still on! How do you do it?! I don't even dare to put on the fan!) but my freezing hands while typing out this post kindly disagree!

You know I've never been fond of winters. The chilly air all around, freezing me to death!...and I get cold so easily inspite of many calling me thick-skinned :p. It's hard to manage the many layers of clothing with the jackets and sweaters and scarves...ohhh so irritating and absolutely useless for delicate people like me ;) and the way sleep overtakes me, it's too cold and gloomy and dark to do anything but lie around in bed and what's worse is having to get up and have a bath (eeek! believe me, it takes a lot of courage to step under that shower :D) to rush to college...and it's not like winter has some thing to offer from the scenic-beauty point of view where I live- no snow or frost or snow-capped mountains or hills (though I wonder how'd I survive the cold there if I can't even take it here! :D), so it doesn't seem like there's anything to cheer about when winter's around the corner...

...unless, I look at it with a different point of view...notice how much more delicious a cup of hot chocolate or a hot coffee tastes during a cold night when you're lying wrapped up in blankets reading a novel? and yeah doesn't ice-cream taste even better when it's so cold that you've actually gone numb? and doesn't even a little bit of sunlight feel heavenly? and the nights so clear that each star is clearly visible...Also, how about how you get to buy that gorgeous leather jacket which you're going to wear only once or twice at the most and doesn't really help with the 'keeping-you-warm' factor but doesn't it look just awesome on you?!...and don't get me started on the boots ;)  What about when suddenly the whole family's home for Christmas...I love that feeling I get when I know Christmas is getting closer, late nights spent playing cards and watching really soppy Christmas movies, huddled under the blanket together, mmm...rose cookies and cakes and Christmas dinner with really bad wine later substituted with appy :D and then new year's eve with the stupid resolutions and boiled veggies and stew at night...and then thoughts on how the new year's going to be, all the while creating beautiful memories...

...and maybe that lying around in bed thing  (lazing around and lot's of time to think and ahh sleep :)) that I mentioned before ain't that bad, huh? :p

"Winter is a time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home."

So...

"Brew me a cup for a winter's night.

 For the wind howls loud and the furies fight;

 Spice it with love and stir it with care,

 And I'll toast your bright eyes,

 my sweetheart fair." ;)

Happy winter everybody! :)