Familiar

Eyes startled open
A loud ringing somewhere

Blink
Catch your breath
Blink again

A flash through the haze
The painfully bright screen
Of an abandoned phone

It's 5 pm
Dark, bleak and silent
Familiar

Wasn't this the place you just escaped?
Maybe you're still dreaming
Maybe you're still there

Pinch yourself
Groan
It's reality alright

Not much different than your dreams
Fear, insecurities, monsters
They follow you here too

Conniving bunch
Shapeshifters, you call them

Your throat's tight
As you hug the pillow close
You can't seem to escape it
Maybe you even like it

It doesn't seem to matter
Eyes open, eyes close
You always end up there
So why open them at all?

A drawn out breath
Escapes your open mouth
The sound somewhere between
A wail and a content sigh

Your eyes flicker shut
On your last thought

Give in
It's too tiring anyway.

Diaries, Lobsters, Forevers and other clichés.

Dear Ma and Dada,

I know you're totally confused about the title right now. I assure you, you'll understand soon enough. I wanted to write a poem for your anniversary but my tired brain isn't of any use right now except sifting through random thoughts, and then getting all excited and weird about them.

These thoughts of course started with images of both of your smiling faces in my mind; 'ma in her beautiful bluish purplish colorful sari, and dad in the reddish maroonish shirt from the photos you sent me last evening. Beautiful colors which together made me think about love birds with their vivid colors, their chirping and their everlasting love; kind of like you guys, huh? Love birds. That's what I'd thought would be the title of my poem, which in the end I couldn't write. Love birds. They made me think of lobsters. I told you I get weird sometimes. I'll explain.

You know I used to watch that show called 'Friends' like crazy, right? The one you thought was stupid, Dad :D Well anyway, in one episode, one of the totally awesome characters, Phoebe says something like this:

"It's a known fact that lobsters fall in love and mate for life. You know what? You can actually see old lobster couples walkin' around their tank, you know, holding claws."

This kinda stuck with me. It's silly and sweet at the same time. I did some fact checking, and this isn't technically true but even then, the idea of mating for life and growing old together, and knowing only one love all your life is a wonderful thought which gets a small satisfied/wishful sigh out of me. So, I think about you both and then I think about lobsters and say, "Wow! Dada is 'ma's lobster and vice versa!" Not so stupid now, huh?! :P Thinking about you two is synonymous to thinking about "forevers", "fairy tales", "magic", "romance" and other such mythical things normal human beings like me are in awe of. Extraordinary, that's the word. Awe is another. And whenever I think about things to be in awe of, my mind inevitably takes me to the world of books and words, and people who write these words. Which made me think of diaries.

Diaries. Such strange things. Our relationship with them starts out platonic and detached. We bore them with excruciating details of the day to day activities of our mundane lives. Slowly, we form a bond. We start sharing feelings: anger, resentment, grudges at first; happiness, humor, sadness follow soon; elation, pain, fear, excitement after some time. Our relationship grows as we become friends who gossip and share secrets about crushes and then about life, and eventually we go onto become friends who would take these secrets to the grave. The most powerful feelings of love, trust and faith seal this relationship and change it into something rare, something beautiful, something that lasts forever. So, I hope you see how diaries remind me of you two. Platonic. Friends. Best Friends. Love. Forever. Sound familiar? Apart from this, there is that other thing that 'ma always used to say. 'ma, remember how you told me that you stopped writing in your old diary because dad became your diary, the one you'd write in forever? Well, things like that make a romantic like me swoon!

So, the point of this rambling was just to give you a few examples to show you how both of you manage to beat the odds. Cynics will just hate you guys for proving them wrong. I have watched you from afar and observed you from up close, I have lived with you and grown up in the family that you started, so I think that is enough for me to be an apt judge on love and life, for now :) And the judge has ruled that you both make the most ridiculous and soppy of clichés worth believing in, because looking at you, I know and I believe that dreams and reality can be one, and that forevers are possible. And that is something most people can't even dream of having. 

This is where I end this odd write up. I guess this was my way of saying that I'm glad I ended up being this crazy kid with crazier dreams, and I want to thank you both because I'm me because of you. Because of how you raised me, and because of how you love each other.

I love you. And I love your love for each other. I'm so proud to be your daughter.

Happy 30th anniversary! 30 beautiful, amazing, extraordinary years...and here's raising a toast to millions of similar years that I know are ahead.

Kisses,

Sweety

P.S. I'm too weird, I know. You don't have to tell me.

P.P.S. Thank you for giving me Appu.

I'll Have You

I want you, this very moment,
I can't stop this feeling I get

I'm so close to you,

Then why aren't you mine yet?

Why do you tease me?

Why do you sometimes disappear?

That one day you'll finally leave me,

It's the only thing I fear

So I'll tell you this,

I've got my heart set on you

One day you'll be mine,

I'll have you if it's the last thing I do

....................................................................................................................................................................

Hi guys! Long time, no see....been really busy with college (final year, you know?) and my poor lappy's all banged up :(. Suddenly got an idea to write this (as usual) so I penned it down. 

Before anyone gets any bizarre ideas about the object of my desire in this poem ;), I'll let you know I was actually talking about my dream. My dream (unlike you, who's reading this :p) is the object of my (envied :D) desire and want. I've made a life altering decision recently, and I've been on a high ever since. So this mirrors the thoughts I've been having, the impatience, the excitement and the undeniable pain of waiting for everything I see for myself, to come true...:)

Hope you're all enjoying the rains! I fall in love every morning these days (with the weather :p).

Catch a dream today :)

All pics are from Google.

Until next time then :) Good night.  

If Only

If only,

I could take back my words,

I'd say the right ones, and tell you,

How much you mean to me

If only,

I had another chance,

I'd spend each day of my life,

Making up, for every mistake, I made

If only,

I could stop time, for a moment,

I'd take that moment,

And live a lifetime with you

If only,

I could look at you once,

I'd remember each expression,

Each move that you make

If only,

I could hold your hand,

I would never let it go,

I'd be by your side, forever

If only,

I could take you in my arms,

I would feel alive again,

I'd find a reason to live

If only,

I could kiss your lips,

I would breathe again,

And, my soul would rejoice

If only,

I could spend my life with you,

I would be complete,

And, there would be no regrets

If only,

You would say yes,

I'd give you every happiness,

I'd make all your dreams come true,

I'd make you my world, my life

Each breath I'd take, would be for you

If only,

You would love me,

I'd be there in the end

I'd make every thing real, 

I'd be your best friend

I would love you,

More than there are stars in the sky,

More than the darkness of night, 

More than the vastness of space,

More than the heat, a fire could ignite

....................................................................................................................................................................

This one came to me suddenly, and I wrote it down in such a short time, which is very unusual for me because usually, it takes ages. The title and some of the feelings I felt while writing this down, came from the movie "If  Only". I found the movie beautiful, about second chances and, love and, mistakes...and regrets.

And, these lines from the song, "If Tomorrow Never Comes", by Ronan Keating, again, got all my emotions fired up!

"I made a promise to myself,

 To say each day, how much she means to me

 And avoid that circumstance,

 Where there's no second chance, to tell her how I feel

 If tomorrow never comes..."

Okay, so I hope you all liked it :) Good night guys. Sleep tight :)

An Evening in Paradise

We sit close, with fingers intertwined

In a valley, in the middle of nowhere

The earth laughs, with flowers,

As their colors weave a magic, so rare

We lie down among the flowers,

Watching red ink flow, on a blue parchment

As the evening sky, gets a crimson tinge

With the beauty which the setting sun, lent

A sweet smelling breeze touches us

And whispers of love, we hear,

In the magical scent, of jasmines

As the first signs of darkness, appear

The last of the birds fly home,
And the twilight fades away, into the night
As stars appear, in the meadows of heaven
We fall in love again, under the soft light

We listen to the crickets chirp,
And each of the sounds, the night brings
The tinkling of a spring, nearby,
The song that a solitary bird, sings

The moon appears soon,
And pieces of cloud, scatter and glide
As the stars sing their lullaby,
I fall asleep, with you by my side

Moments later, my eyes open
We're in our bed, and I realize
Just a moment, spent in your arms,
Could give me an evening, in paradise

....................................................................................................................................................................

This one gave me a lot of trouble! It just wouldn't come out the way I wanted :( ...until it finally did ;) I should tell you, that I was totally inspired when I heard someone say the words, "Just like a picnic in heaven", and I played around with the idea for sometime...and finally, you're looking at the result!:)

Thanks to you who gave me this idea :) I owe you ;)

Hope you guys like it :)
Good Night...I  hope you all sleep well, as the stars sing their lullaby ;) :)

Oh yeah, and the above picture is from the movie, Twilight...I don't own it. It's the only picture I found, that was the closest to what had imagined. 

Intimate Moments Spent With Her

                                              

He saw her after a lifetime,

She stood in a corner, calm and still

Thoughts of her, had kept him alive

Dreams of her, had given him a thrill

So many days, he'd spent without her

Her voice, he had craved to hear,

And when he conjured her up in his dreams

All his worries, would always disappear

He sat down in front of her now,

And wished to hear a melody so sweet

Something only he could understand,

Something that would make him complete

The desperation in his eyes,

The impatience that gnawed at him

Told him he could wait no longer

As a longing to touch her, coursed through each limb

His eyes closed, and his body relaxed

In front of him, his fingers splayed out

He touched none of her keys

But still, music he heard without a doubt

Because the music only he could hear,

Had become a part of his soul

From the day, he had first touched her

In this life, for him, there was only one role

He'd be the finest pianist there ever was,

His lover would be his piano

And as he got lost again in the music that he made,

It was still just an illusion, that he'd never know

I saw the movie, 'The Pianist' just yesterday and it was so moving, so beautiful that I just got lost in so many beautiful moments...There was one particular moment in the movie that inspired this post in which this man (Wladyslaw Szpilman) who has been a pianist for as long as he can remember, and has been thrown away from his home, separated from his family and has been treated like dirt and tortured like the rest of the Jews in Germany at that time, escapes, and is helped by some really good German people to go into hiding. He's hiding in this apartment which has a piano placed in the corner and the expression on his face as he watches it Oh God! Such joy, sadness, hope, desperation...and he sits in the stool in front of it and closes his eyes and stretches out his hands in front of him and plays...and you hear the most beautiful music ever...The thing is, he actually doesn't play at all, not even one key is touched...He can't even make the slightest bit of sound as all around him, the rooms are occupied by Germans and he can let no one know of his existence or else he'll be captured again...so he just moves his fingers in mid-air and still, he hears music... It was just so sad and so intimate and so very beautiful that I thought I'd write about it...I don't think I could justify that moment through this post but I just had to try...

And my mind's all muddled up and I was finding it really hard to write but again, I was craving to do it, so I shoved all my copies into my bag, left all the studying I was doing (which wasn't much :p) just like that and started to write....Hope you all liked it :) 

Please keep in mind that I had to write this post with the annoying voice of my roommate in the background the whole time!  :@ I really miss home :(

:D

Good Night guys :)     

The Woman He Would Always Love

He woke up in the middle of the night

And lay still, thinking about the dream he'd just had

It seemed, it was a dream more real than reality 

A perfection to which, nothing he'd ever add

Smiling then, he turned to his side

And looked at the face he'd seen, just a while ago

He watched as she slept like a baby, and remembered

Each memory that they'd made together, and felt the emotions flow

She had seemed no older than a child,

The day that into his life, she'd first flown

Big eyes full of trust, a smile like sunshine

Two braids swinging, with a life of their own

He hadn't spared a thought on her then,

Hadn't given her a second glance

Little had he known, that she was the one he'd waited for

That it was the beginning, of a lifelong romance

Soon they got to know each other,

And he was amazed that now he had a friend

With whom, he who could be himself and share his dreams

Someone with whom, he had no need to pretend

As the days went by, he realized how special she was,

And the dreamer inside him weaved up fantasies about her

He knew he had fallen for this beauty

As feelings unknown, within him she could stir

He wrote passionate letters, and poems and songs

As to woo her, hundreds of ways he designed

At times devious, at times the picture of chivalry

To have her, was the only thought that was always on his mind

His efforts hadn't gone unanswered,

His labor of love hadn't been in vain

As the cupid's arrow struck her too

His happiness knew no bounds and in that way,

forever he would remain

For her laughter brought wonder into his world, 

Her child-like happiness gave to his life, a reason

Her funny expressions, and madness at times

Brought into his life, the beauty of each season

She wouldn't let him give in when he stumbled

For she was the only one, who knew him inside out

She fought for him, and became a part of his soul

And dreamed of the things, that he dreamed about

She got lost somewhere in between, 

But he knew she was stubborn and strong

She'd find her way back to him, to her haven

She'd remember that his arms were where, she would always belong

As he looked at her now, in the darkness

With the soft moonlight casting a halo around her, as she slept in peace

He felt sure that the keeper of stars had joined their hearts,

And his love for her with each passing day, would only increase

For she was the woman, he would always love

She would always be his inspiration and pride

She would always catch him, if he were to fall

She would always be the one who would walk by his side

....................................................................................................................................................................

No guesswork needed here, right? This poem is totally dedicated to my Mom :) and Dad's love for her...I've been wanting to write about her for sometime now...She's a mother and a child at the same time, always full of joy and as I told her a few days ago, when I think about her, it's always like thinking about sunshine...bright, warm, smiling, comforting, beauty, laughter, dancing around the shadows and always finding a way to get past them...just totally pure and angelic :):):)

 Hope you all liked it, especially you, for whom the poem is written...an inspiration not only to Dad (who sometimes denies it, but is totally lying. I know, well, because I always know;)) but to your silly little daughter too...Love you loads 'ma, just the way you are...very special :)

Good night guys, I'm feeling all 'Christmasy' and red-and-green! :D Love this season and what it does to me :)

Till next time then... 

A Dream and a Wish...

On the stones along the pathway,
To hear your footsteps, my ears I strain
And for a long time, that's where I stay
But all I hear, is the soft patter of rain

The wind's starting to get wild now,
And I'm drenched to the bone
The trees sway, and I feel that somehow
They speak a language, that I understand alone

They tell me to leave, and never to look back
Because a storm's coming, and you know what they say
It brings pain and destruction with each attack
Punishing each and everything in its way

Tears mix with rain drops, as I still stand there
I still wait, ignoring each warning sign
For no storm could sway, a trust so deep and rare
And suddenly from far away, I hear a clock chime nine

Time has come but where are you?
I can't take it anymore, my mind starts playing a game
Because each shadow and silhouette too
Reminds me of you, but the forlorn night remains the same

I lift my head to the sky, to see the stars wink
But all I see today, are the darkest of clouds floating by
Finally, my shoulders slump and I feel my heart sink
I cast one last glance over my shoulder, and let the hope that's inside me, die

Maybe I didn't wish hard enough for you tonight
But that is not possible, no one could make a wish so deep
Because with each breath, I wish for your sight
Even if it's for a fantasy I dream, while I sleep

There's a battle within me, that stops me from waking
Not until I see you, will it end
And in my dream, I suddenly feel my saddened heart sing
And the broken pieces start to mend

For I see you move towards me, as first rays of the sun appear
And a rainbow apologizes for the angry sky
But still, things remain confused in my mind and and thoughts unclear
Is it a dream that brings me to you or beside me, you really lie?

Because you are a dream at night and a wish in the morn
All day I long to see your face, even if it's from afar
And each day I know that the dream will be reborn
To be with you somewhere, beyond a distant star

....................................................................................................................................................................

So, again I don't know what brought this on suddenly...there were some thoughts bouncing around in my mind and then I read some beautiful lyrics, "A dream in the night", and it sort of got me to do this instead of inspiring me to study for my Java practical tomorrow which I really, really should have done :p Oh anyway, please let me know if you liked it, poetry and me is a really new combo which I haven't explored much, so just giving it a shot :)
And tomorrow is the day when I finally finish with my awfully long (it really felt looong :D) 5th sem at college...Yay! *jumping, jumping*
Okay, good night everyone :)

Let's Hear What They Have To Say First...

AND THEN HE SAYS...

AND  DREAMS  COME TRUE………

THIS IS A LOVE STORY, IT STARTED 30 YEARS AGO………..

THEN I WAS YOUNG, I WAS LONELY.

BUT I WAS A DREAMER,

I DREAMED OF LOVE

& SOMEONE WHO’LL LOVE ME & ME ONLY.

I HAD GOOD FRIENDS, BUT A VERY FEW,

I LOVED GOOD BOOKS, MUSIC & MOVIES TOO.

THEN ONE DAY FROM OUT OF THE BLUE,

I MET THIS BEAUTIFUL GIRL

WHOM IT SEEMED I ALWAYS KNEW.

SHE STEPPED STRAIGHT IN TO MY HEART,

AS IF SHE KNEW RIGHT FROM THE START.

IT WAS THE PLACE,

FOR WHICH, ONLY SHE HELD THE KEY.

I KNEW FROM THAT MOMENT,

LOVE HAD HAPPENED TO ME.

SHE BECAME MY SOUL MATE, MY BEST FRIEND

WE SHARED OUR VIEWS ON AUTHORS, BOOKS,

MOVIES ….THE TOPICS NEVER SEEMED TO END.

I TOLD HER, “A FRIEND IS A PRESENT YOU GIVE TO YOURSELF”

SHE WAS & WILL BE THE ONE, WITH WHOM I DON’T HAVE TO PRETEND.

DAYS WERE LIKE A DREAM, WITH HER NEAR & AROUND ME

EVENINGS WERE THE TIME TO PART,

LEAVING ME WITH A HEAVY HEART,

NIGHTS WERE MAGIC, WHERE HER

SWEET MEMORIES WOULD ALWAYS SURROUND ME.

OH, HOW CAN I EXPLAIN THE FEELING OF LOVE?

IT’S SOMETHING MAGICAL? DIVINE?  IT COMES FROM ABOVE?

ONE CAN’T FIND THE WORDS TO EXPRESS IT,

BUT WHEN TRUE LOVE COMES TO YOU, IT COMES ON

THE WINGS OF A DOVE.

SHE WAS THE ONE WHO CHANGED MY LIFE,

IT WAS NOT VERY LONG BEFORE WE BOTH SAID,

“I LOVE YOU ”

SOON WE WALKED DOWN THE AISLE TO SAY,

“I DO”

AND WE BECAME MAN & WIFE.

BUT BEFORE THIS, THERE WAS TROUBLE FROM PARENTS AND FRIENDS.

THE WHOLE WORLD WAS TRYING TO TELL US IT’S WRONG,

BUT WE KNEW THIS WOULD PASS IF WE JUST STOOD STRONG.

THOSE WERE JUST THE TRIALS AND TESTS OF OUR LOVE,

BUT WE KNEW THAT TRUE LOVE ALWAYS WINS IN THE END.

  

I MUST CONFESS, THERE HAVE BEEN ROUGH TIMES,

HEARTACHES & HEARTBREAKS, ALONG WITH THE GOOD TIMES.

BUT EVEN THROUGH THOSE DARK DAYS OF GLOOM,

OUR LOVE STILL PREVAILS, OUR LOVE ALWAYS SHINES.

AND WE STARTED A FAMILY

AS TIME PASSED BY, WE BUILT ‘FANTASIA’, OUR HOME,

WHERE IT FEELS A LITTLE BIT LIKE HEAVEN, WE CALL IT OUR OWN.

IT’S STILL THE PLACE WHERE LOVE & HAPPNESS, CARING & SHARING 

HAVE GROWN LIKE A GREAT OAK TREE.

SHE GAVE ME ALL THE HAPPINESS, I REALLY NEVER KNEW,

I COULD ALWAYS SEE HER LOVE, IN EVRY THING SHE’D DO.

SHE GAVE ME ALL HER LOVE, HER TRUST

WITH ALL THE UNERSTANDING AND CARE,

TWO WONDERFUL GIFTS WHOM WE LOVE & CHERISH, EVERY DAY.

EVERY THING SEEMS COMPLETE IN THIS WONDERFUL WORLD WE SHARE.

IT’S 28 YEARS, SINCE THAT DAY WE BOTH SAID, ‘I DO’

AND I STILL LOVE HER LIKE CRAZY, AND I KNOW SHE DOES TOO.

THIS IS ALL I CAN THINK OF, OR I WANT TO SAY

SHE’S MY DREAM COME TRUE, SHE’S MY LIFE

SHE’S IN MY LIFE, FOREVER TO STAY.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO YOU, SUE,

THIS IS OUR LOVE STORY, SO SIMPLE BUT TRUE,

I WANT YOU TO KNOW, I’LL ALWAYS LOVE YOU

YOU ARE THE REASON ALL MY DREAMS HAVE COME TRUE,

AND YOU MUST BE KNOWING THAT I STILL ADORE YOU.

JOHN

29.11.2011