Diaries, Lobsters, Forevers and other clichés.

Dear Ma and Dada,

I know you're totally confused about the title right now. I assure you, you'll understand soon enough. I wanted to write a poem for your anniversary but my tired brain isn't of any use right now except sifting through random thoughts, and then getting all excited and weird about them.

These thoughts of course started with images of both of your smiling faces in my mind; 'ma in her beautiful bluish purplish colorful sari, and dad in the reddish maroonish shirt from the photos you sent me last evening. Beautiful colors which together made me think about love birds with their vivid colors, their chirping and their everlasting love; kind of like you guys, huh? Love birds. That's what I'd thought would be the title of my poem, which in the end I couldn't write. Love birds. They made me think of lobsters. I told you I get weird sometimes. I'll explain.

You know I used to watch that show called 'Friends' like crazy, right? The one you thought was stupid, Dad :D Well anyway, in one episode, one of the totally awesome characters, Phoebe says something like this:

"It's a known fact that lobsters fall in love and mate for life. You know what? You can actually see old lobster couples walkin' around their tank, you know, holding claws."

This kinda stuck with me. It's silly and sweet at the same time. I did some fact checking, and this isn't technically true but even then, the idea of mating for life and growing old together, and knowing only one love all your life is a wonderful thought which gets a small satisfied/wishful sigh out of me. So, I think about you both and then I think about lobsters and say, "Wow! Dada is 'ma's lobster and vice versa!" Not so stupid now, huh?! :P Thinking about you two is synonymous to thinking about "forevers", "fairy tales", "magic", "romance" and other such mythical things normal human beings like me are in awe of. Extraordinary, that's the word. Awe is another. And whenever I think about things to be in awe of, my mind inevitably takes me to the world of books and words, and people who write these words. Which made me think of diaries.

Diaries. Such strange things. Our relationship with them starts out platonic and detached. We bore them with excruciating details of the day to day activities of our mundane lives. Slowly, we form a bond. We start sharing feelings: anger, resentment, grudges at first; happiness, humor, sadness follow soon; elation, pain, fear, excitement after some time. Our relationship grows as we become friends who gossip and share secrets about crushes and then about life, and eventually we go onto become friends who would take these secrets to the grave. The most powerful feelings of love, trust and faith seal this relationship and change it into something rare, something beautiful, something that lasts forever. So, I hope you see how diaries remind me of you two. Platonic. Friends. Best Friends. Love. Forever. Sound familiar? Apart from this, there is that other thing that 'ma always used to say. 'ma, remember how you told me that you stopped writing in your old diary because dad became your diary, the one you'd write in forever? Well, things like that make a romantic like me swoon!

So, the point of this rambling was just to give you a few examples to show you how both of you manage to beat the odds. Cynics will just hate you guys for proving them wrong. I have watched you from afar and observed you from up close, I have lived with you and grown up in the family that you started, so I think that is enough for me to be an apt judge on love and life, for now :) And the judge has ruled that you both make the most ridiculous and soppy of clichés worth believing in, because looking at you, I know and I believe that dreams and reality can be one, and that forevers are possible. And that is something most people can't even dream of having. 

This is where I end this odd write up. I guess this was my way of saying that I'm glad I ended up being this crazy kid with crazier dreams, and I want to thank you both because I'm me because of you. Because of how you raised me, and because of how you love each other.

I love you. And I love your love for each other. I'm so proud to be your daughter.

Happy 30th anniversary! 30 beautiful, amazing, extraordinary years...and here's raising a toast to millions of similar years that I know are ahead.

Kisses,

Sweety

P.S. I'm too weird, I know. You don't have to tell me.

P.P.S. Thank you for giving me Appu.

Emptiness

 

She never told me,

But I knew, I really did

It gave her away,

The cheerful mask behind which she hid

Suddenly there was an emptiness,

In those beautiful eyes

That I couldn't fathom

And which she couldn't hide with lies

She always tried to escape,

And looking into her eyes, I saw

Something broken behind them,

In a sparkling diamond, a crack, a flaw

She had needed me and I failed her,

Till today, I know not why?

I didn't ease her pain, her hurt,

Not once did I even try

Then one morning I rose,

To a feeling of emptiness, so fierce 

She was gone, leaving behind a note,

That was soaked in her tears

 

I keep it like a treasure,

Her only piece that was mine

It read, "Dad, I love you,

I'm sorry, I'll be fine"

I was filled with an ache,

That only losing your child can bring

I understood then the emptiness I had seen

For now, I felt the same thing

 

 She'd given up her baby,

It had changed her life forever,

My little girl, only sixteen

And now each of her ties, she'd sever

A conversation, a hug, she had needed

To let her know, I had cared

I wish I had told her, she wasn't alone

That I was also scared

......................................................................................................................................................................

 I read a novel recently in which a girl of eighteen, not sixteen like in my poem, runs away from home, as much as from herself, after going through the trauma of having an abortion about which she doesn't ,or rather, couldn't tell her father...but he knew...and I wrote these lines trying to capture his feelings, his point of view.

I didn't plan on writing this, it's a very difficult subject for me to write about but there were parts of the book that remained with me. 

There was another source of inspiration that actually made me think about this book again and  brought me the title of the poem, that came from words from another novel:

"It's like I'm an oyster. I've had this sharp speck inside me for a long time, and I've been trying to make it more comfortable, so slowly I've turned it into a pearl. But now it's finally being taken out, and just as it's going I'm realizing there's a gap being left behind, you know a dent in my belly where it used to sit. And so I kind of want to hold onto it for a little longer."

Both the novels are totally not related to and cannot be more different from each other but I found some lines which I felt evoked the same feelings in me and I wove them together.

As usual, I get inspired at the oddest of times! My exams start in less than a week and here I am struggling to give words to the emotions that refuse to die down...

The images were all found on Google. For those who want to know the names of the two novels: The one which inspired the plot is- Harvesting the Heart by Jodi Picoult, and the one which inspired the title is- The Reluctant Fundamentalist by Mohsin Hamid.

Hope you liked it :) Till next time then.

Monsters Under My Bed

The little girl cried in her sleep,

And woke up with a start

She got down from her bed,

Clutching her doll to her heart

She walked slowly in the dark,

Her tiny bare feet shaking with fear

Out of her room and into the hallway,

A plump cheek red, the culprit a tear

She reached a closed door,

And pushed with all her might

She could just make out in the darkness,

Two figures silhouetted by the moonlight

She climbed onto the big bed, 

Reaching the tall man, she cuddled close

Sniffing silently, as she stared at him,

As he shifted a bit, she froze

The man woke up suddenly,

To the sound of a soft purr

Feeling little fingers clutching his shirt, 

He turned around, and saw her

He saw his little baby, her face red,

He felt his heart break into two

As she curled up next to him in fear,

Something was wrong, that he knew

He sat up and took her in his arms,

And he asked, "Sweetheart, are you okay?"

"What's the matter? Did you see a bad dream?"

But with her doll, she absently began to play.

She mumbled in her baby voice, 

Her eyes full of fright, as she nodded

"Daddy, I saw big monsters chasing me,

Because you forgot to check today under my bed"

The man felt his throat dry up,

And felt a love so strong

He felt an urge to keep her safe,

To shield her from everything wrong

He picked he up in his arms, 

Cradling her like the baby she was

And padded down quietly to her room,

To right the wrong, for which he was the cause

He tucked her into bed once more,

And then opened the closet and checked,

He looked under the bed and checked again

He assured her, that his little baby he'd always protect

"No monsters, no ghosts, no evil

Will ever get to you darling",

"Daddy will always be there for you

He'll keep you safe from everything"

He stroked her hair softly

And crooned for her, her favorite lullaby,

As her eyes fluttered close, he watched her

A fallen star that came to him from the sky

..................................................................................................................................................................

I've been away for a long while (many reasons)...so I'm going to post three poems today that I wrote during that period starting with this one!

I'd written this poem on my dad's birthday on the 22nd of October...Hope you all like it :)

Pic courtesy: Google (Don't know what I'd do without you! ;))

The Answer (Guest Entry)

Here's a reply from my Dad...for the last  post. You're truly amazing Dad :* I love you so much :*

I too look at myself, in the mirror,

And sometimes, see a stranger there

I thought I knew, all the ropes, all the roads,

Now some times, I see a danger there

No, it’s not a writer’s block,

It’s just a blank wall, that blocks my vision

My eyes are wide open,

But they just seem, to stare into oblivion

Words are just no more my friends,

So they are not easy, to be spoken, or written

It’s not that I don’t want to say something,

It’s just that, all the right words are hidden

It’s just a phase I’m going through, right now,

I thought, I understood love & life, but I’m confused

There’s so much contradiction, so many conflicts

So much is going on in my world, it keeps me amused

You say, my words cast a spell,

That they were an inspiration, for you

I’m sorry if I disappointed you, my girl,

I promise to rise above this situation, for you

'Cause if you know me, you’ll know I’m a fighter,

With two negatives, I love to make a positive

Yes, you’ve given me a challenge, saying,

Not to leave the page blank, and to try to be creative

See, I've managed to pick up the courage,

And write these lines, only FOR YOU

From the blanks, I've tried to join the dots

With some words, I could find only for you

THANK YOU SWEETY,

YOU ARE MY INSPIRATION, YOU KNOW

YOU WILL HELP ME,

IN MY DESPERATION, OF THIS I’M SURE

....................................................................................................................................................................

Thank you, Dad. I loved this post. This is what I was talking about. You words are amazing, because you are too. I knew you'd bounce back, I've always known :*
You can visit my Dad's blog at http://john-anddreamscometrue.blogspot.in/
And the second picture, the one of me with my Dad, was taken by Mystic (http://i-me-mysolitude.blogspot.in/). Thanks, Amo, for the beautiful pic :)

An Inspiration

I look at you, and wonder,

What are you waiting for?

What do you need?

About what, are you not sure?

Why do you falter?

What is it, that stops you?

Which tide is it,

That you wish, to swim through?

I saw a world so different,

Through your eyes

A tear turned to laughter,

A sunset, to sunrise

Now, why is it,

That you deny me

Of words of love and romance,

Those of winds, and the sea?

I crave to hear the words,

That you once weaved, out of little

Nothing else could give me,

The joy, they would bring

What is it, that inspires you?

I know not, what is wrong

I write now, to make you understand,

What I had known, all along

Your words cast a spell,

They're an inspiration to me,

If that light inside you, fades away,

So will the world, I love to see 

....................................................................................................................................................................

This post was written on a whim...for someone who really should know how good he is...my Dad :* I know it's not a writer's block that's stopping you from writing, please don't stop...I hope you find this post an inspiration, maybe just in a way that you can write me a reply to it?

You're amazing at this, Dad, and I can't wait to read your words, weaved into beautiful poetry or writing, something that takes me into another world altogether, something that inspires me...

I love you, do it for me please :* 

Don't leave that page blank,

Fill it with your thoughts

Pick up that pen now,

Let's start joining the dots

:)

  

The beautiful picture present at the end is by R. Yuvashree(http://uv-yura.blogspot.in/). Thanks a lot, Yuvva :* 

Good Night, Guys...Dream beautiful dreams :) 

Let's Hear What They Have To Say First...

AND THEN HE SAYS...

AND  DREAMS  COME TRUE………

THIS IS A LOVE STORY, IT STARTED 30 YEARS AGO………..

THEN I WAS YOUNG, I WAS LONELY.

BUT I WAS A DREAMER,

I DREAMED OF LOVE

& SOMEONE WHO’LL LOVE ME & ME ONLY.

I HAD GOOD FRIENDS, BUT A VERY FEW,

I LOVED GOOD BOOKS, MUSIC & MOVIES TOO.

THEN ONE DAY FROM OUT OF THE BLUE,

I MET THIS BEAUTIFUL GIRL

WHOM IT SEEMED I ALWAYS KNEW.

SHE STEPPED STRAIGHT IN TO MY HEART,

AS IF SHE KNEW RIGHT FROM THE START.

IT WAS THE PLACE,

FOR WHICH, ONLY SHE HELD THE KEY.

I KNEW FROM THAT MOMENT,

LOVE HAD HAPPENED TO ME.

SHE BECAME MY SOUL MATE, MY BEST FRIEND

WE SHARED OUR VIEWS ON AUTHORS, BOOKS,

MOVIES ….THE TOPICS NEVER SEEMED TO END.

I TOLD HER, “A FRIEND IS A PRESENT YOU GIVE TO YOURSELF”

SHE WAS & WILL BE THE ONE, WITH WHOM I DON’T HAVE TO PRETEND.

DAYS WERE LIKE A DREAM, WITH HER NEAR & AROUND ME

EVENINGS WERE THE TIME TO PART,

LEAVING ME WITH A HEAVY HEART,

NIGHTS WERE MAGIC, WHERE HER

SWEET MEMORIES WOULD ALWAYS SURROUND ME.

OH, HOW CAN I EXPLAIN THE FEELING OF LOVE?

IT’S SOMETHING MAGICAL? DIVINE?  IT COMES FROM ABOVE?

ONE CAN’T FIND THE WORDS TO EXPRESS IT,

BUT WHEN TRUE LOVE COMES TO YOU, IT COMES ON

THE WINGS OF A DOVE.

SHE WAS THE ONE WHO CHANGED MY LIFE,

IT WAS NOT VERY LONG BEFORE WE BOTH SAID,

“I LOVE YOU ”

SOON WE WALKED DOWN THE AISLE TO SAY,

“I DO”

AND WE BECAME MAN & WIFE.

BUT BEFORE THIS, THERE WAS TROUBLE FROM PARENTS AND FRIENDS.

THE WHOLE WORLD WAS TRYING TO TELL US IT’S WRONG,

BUT WE KNEW THIS WOULD PASS IF WE JUST STOOD STRONG.

THOSE WERE JUST THE TRIALS AND TESTS OF OUR LOVE,

BUT WE KNEW THAT TRUE LOVE ALWAYS WINS IN THE END.

  

I MUST CONFESS, THERE HAVE BEEN ROUGH TIMES,

HEARTACHES & HEARTBREAKS, ALONG WITH THE GOOD TIMES.

BUT EVEN THROUGH THOSE DARK DAYS OF GLOOM,

OUR LOVE STILL PREVAILS, OUR LOVE ALWAYS SHINES.

AND WE STARTED A FAMILY

AS TIME PASSED BY, WE BUILT ‘FANTASIA’, OUR HOME,

WHERE IT FEELS A LITTLE BIT LIKE HEAVEN, WE CALL IT OUR OWN.

IT’S STILL THE PLACE WHERE LOVE & HAPPNESS, CARING & SHARING 

HAVE GROWN LIKE A GREAT OAK TREE.

SHE GAVE ME ALL THE HAPPINESS, I REALLY NEVER KNEW,

I COULD ALWAYS SEE HER LOVE, IN EVRY THING SHE’D DO.

SHE GAVE ME ALL HER LOVE, HER TRUST

WITH ALL THE UNERSTANDING AND CARE,

TWO WONDERFUL GIFTS WHOM WE LOVE & CHERISH, EVERY DAY.

EVERY THING SEEMS COMPLETE IN THIS WONDERFUL WORLD WE SHARE.

IT’S 28 YEARS, SINCE THAT DAY WE BOTH SAID, ‘I DO’

AND I STILL LOVE HER LIKE CRAZY, AND I KNOW SHE DOES TOO.

THIS IS ALL I CAN THINK OF, OR I WANT TO SAY

SHE’S MY DREAM COME TRUE, SHE’S MY LIFE

SHE’S IN MY LIFE, FOREVER TO STAY.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO YOU, SUE,

THIS IS OUR LOVE STORY, SO SIMPLE BUT TRUE,

I WANT YOU TO KNOW, I’LL ALWAYS LOVE YOU

YOU ARE THE REASON ALL MY DREAMS HAVE COME TRUE,

AND YOU MUST BE KNOWING THAT I STILL ADORE YOU.

JOHN

29.11.2011