He looks her way yet again,
And feels a rage so strong
He knows he needs to be calm,
Or he'll end up doing something wrong
She watches him silently as she dances,
In the arms of yet another man
She feels a satisfaction and smiles,
As she thinks about her plan
As music fills the entire room,
He orders another drink on a whim
That's what he needs right now,
To numb the burning feeling inside him
As she steps out of the circle,
Of the strangers surrounding her
She heads for his table,
As his drink, he continues to stir
His eyes hold hers,
As she walks towards him
He finds her beauty breathtaking
And around him, the lights seem to dim
Her cold lips touch his,
And douse the fire that she had lighted
She alone knows that to quench his ardor
Fire and ice had to be united
Taking perfect provocative strides,
She moves away from him again
In search for a new toy to amuse her,
For sometime, her attention who'd gain
....................................................................................................................................................................
Okay, so I tried something different here...I don't know if you all can visualize it, but I could see a man sitting at the bar, jealousy raging inside him as he watches the girl he loves, toy around with strangers...Well , the reason I'm giving is that she's punishing him for something, like a fight or for lack of attention, or maybe, she's just a tease :D You're welcome to add your own reasons :))
I totally got inspired by a friend's recent blog post which I loved -"Fire and Ice", which you'll find at- http://www.i-me-mysolitude.blogspot.in/2012/01/fire-and-ice-55fiction-1.html, and I interpreted it in my own way...Hope she forgives me if I messed it up ;)
Anyway, hope you all liked it...and for anyone who thought there'd be a revelation of the mysterious identities of the man and the woman in the end, all I can say is -tough luck! :p
Good night guys :)
What a girl! The real provocative , beautiful and a woman who is very sure of her charms and beauty> Well, as usual , you did transport me to a disco or any such thing and I was watching the drama between two persons. Did I feel sorry for the man? Yes I did. Well written Sweety. Managed to make me go into the world of your characters as always. Keep writing. Looking forward to yet another story from you. And oh ! I forgot to mention the picture. They are chosen so carefully , they add magic to your posts. Loved it.
ReplyDeletemumma
It was indeed provocative.Hum toh behte chale gaye... I was able to see him and her, looks like she was too charming. Fire and ice... the two most terrible forces of nature...beautifully described. I am lovin' it!
ReplyDeleteAgain a work of extreme creativity with utter finesse! So perfectly describing the two extremities, one fire and the other, ice:-) with respect to subtle human emotions!! The charming lady, I feel, wants to win back her lost love so, she provokes the man by her actions.....good metaphorical relationship with fire and ice:-) great work!! I think, I really need to read the post from where you got the inspiration for this awesome work!!!
ReplyDeleteWow sweety ,Good imagination, as always the scene is created and the reader can actually visualise it all as if it's taking place in front of his/her eyes. It proves that you have great talent & I'm glad you are making the best out of it. I had always wanted my kids to do something creative, like painting, writing , photography and other creative art, so I'm very happy that you, Appi & Amo are having some of these interest and are doing a great job.
ReplyDeletelove you.
Sweety , Darling Thank you so much for writing this post ! Combined with your lovely writing skills, you have painted the exact scene that was on my mind ! So good to know that you could exactly perceive what I was trying to convey in just 55 words !your elaboration add to the story that I tried to tell !
ReplyDeleteAnd paagal I don't mind it at all. You made it up in the department I fail - poems :P
Keep writing :)
Love you :)
Wow! You've explained the 55fiction by Amo in detail in the exact manner in which she had seen it... only that she had captured it in minimal words, and you've elaborated in oh so beautifully! Not only is this politically correct, it's also poetically sound!
ReplyDeleteGood job, CJ! Keep writing more... and even though you're busy, take out time to write poetry in 55fiction! Love you loads <3