Emptiness

 

She never told me,

But I knew, I really did

It gave her away,

The cheerful mask behind which she hid

Suddenly there was an emptiness,

In those beautiful eyes

That I couldn't fathom

And which she couldn't hide with lies

She always tried to escape,

And looking into her eyes, I saw

Something broken behind them,

In a sparkling diamond, a crack, a flaw

She had needed me and I failed her,

Till today, I know not why?

I didn't ease her pain, her hurt,

Not once did I even try

Then one morning I rose,

To a feeling of emptiness, so fierce 

She was gone, leaving behind a note,

That was soaked in her tears

 

I keep it like a treasure,

Her only piece that was mine

It read, "Dad, I love you,

I'm sorry, I'll be fine"

I was filled with an ache,

That only losing your child can bring

I understood then the emptiness I had seen

For now, I felt the same thing

 

 She'd given up her baby,

It had changed her life forever,

My little girl, only sixteen

And now each of her ties, she'd sever

A conversation, a hug, she had needed

To let her know, I had cared

I wish I had told her, she wasn't alone

That I was also scared

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 I read a novel recently in which a girl of eighteen, not sixteen like in my poem, runs away from home, as much as from herself, after going through the trauma of having an abortion about which she doesn't ,or rather, couldn't tell her father...but he knew...and I wrote these lines trying to capture his feelings, his point of view.

I didn't plan on writing this, it's a very difficult subject for me to write about but there were parts of the book that remained with me. 

There was another source of inspiration that actually made me think about this book again and  brought me the title of the poem, that came from words from another novel:

"It's like I'm an oyster. I've had this sharp speck inside me for a long time, and I've been trying to make it more comfortable, so slowly I've turned it into a pearl. But now it's finally being taken out, and just as it's going I'm realizing there's a gap being left behind, you know a dent in my belly where it used to sit. And so I kind of want to hold onto it for a little longer."

Both the novels are totally not related to and cannot be more different from each other but I found some lines which I felt evoked the same feelings in me and I wove them together.

As usual, I get inspired at the oddest of times! My exams start in less than a week and here I am struggling to give words to the emotions that refuse to die down...

The images were all found on Google. For those who want to know the names of the two novels: The one which inspired the plot is- Harvesting the Heart by Jodi Picoult, and the one which inspired the title is- The Reluctant Fundamentalist by Mohsin Hamid.

Hope you liked it :) Till next time then.

Intersection

It had been inevitable, right from the beginning.

This was where they had parted; this had to be the place they'd meet again.

She had always known this would happen, and yet she wasn't prepared to face him. Not now, not ever.

Hadn't she known that lines that parted would always converge somewhere, that there would always be one intersection?  

Caught up in the rush of emotions, she tried to breathe. Somehow she had to believe that he would remember her. She watched him from across the room. Age hadn't been cruel to him. He looked just as handsome as she'd thought he would be. He wasn't alone though, her mind reluctantly acknowledged. A beautiful woman sat by his side, holding his hand as she talked to him silently. Probably his wife, she thought with a pang of jealousy. Of course, he had a wife and children; she'd known that for years and the strange envy she felt surprised her.

She took a step towards where he was, oblivious of the hustle-bustle and the people moving about with their usual business around her. Just as she reached the door, she panicked. This was where he had abandoned her. But she forgave him now, letting go of the hurt. What in the world would she say to him? Feeling enervated at the continuous battle between her mind and her heart, she thought for a moment that this was her choice. She could turn back, evade this situation, never to return again, do the same thing he had done to her once, and she almost gave in. But as her eyes fell on his face again, she knew this was now or never. She may never get a chance to see him again, and she knew she couldn't live with that. She gathered up all the courage she could muster and entered the little room and faced him. Even in his state of immobility, he sensed something. She could tell by the flicker of his eyes, the sharp intake of his ragged breath. From the confinements of his hospital bed, he stared at her. There were things he recognized, she knew. The dark chestnut-brown hair, the sharp nose, the cleft in her chin, all belonged to the woman he'd once loved but, unmistakably, the eyes he looked into were his own, so was the hesitant but warm dimpled smile she offered. She took another step forward, ending the space between them that had been left open by him thirty years ago, when he'd left her in another hospital bed in her mother's arms. He tried to say something, but she knew he was overwhelmed, just as she was. Taking his hand in hers, she whispered gently what she'd been dying to say for years, "Daddy".

Everything that rises must converge.

~ Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

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I didn't have any idea what I was writing when I started this. All I knew was that it had something to do with intersection, and suddenly it shaped itself into what you just read now. I've always felt there's something complete, something whole about the way rays of light converge, as if, something that had been broken ages ago is getting fixed, as if it's healing. All  over the world people come at cross roads every day, they turn different ways, they take a wrong turn, move in a different direction...some day definitely, the two different paths meet somewhere and that's when the convalescence, the forgiveness and acceptance begin.

The pictures are from my angel, Google! ;)
 Maybe, I'll be on a break now because of my exams....but then again, who knows what goes on in the mind of a young lonely soul like me, I might just feel the urge to write a few lines :p

Aurora...55Fiction#5

With rosy fingers dropping dew, 

In red and blue, you enchant me

Spreading hope amongst man and beast,

In a chariot, rising out of the sea

Your golden tresses wild and free,

A rainbow of scintillant colors and light 

Leaving a trail of fire in the sky,

Each day you bring, a dawn so bright

...................................................................................................................................................................

Aurora means the first light of the day. I'm really fascinated by ancient Greek mythology and after I read in my dictionary (yeah, really!) about Aurora, the Goddess of dawn in Roman mythology who's the counterpart of the Greek Goddess, Eos, I could just imagine her all fiery and beautiful, coming out of the ocean in her winged chariot with all these colors surrounding her, just like it happens when dawn breaks and then I just wrote this down...When I searched for pics, I realized my imagination was almost accurate! :)

That beautiful first pic is of an “Aurora Borealis”, a luminous meteoric phenomenon named after the very same Roman Goddess of dawn (Aurora) and the Greek word for the north wind (Boreas). It's like a piece of art in the sky, or so I've heard.

Pic courtesy: The first of Aurora Borealis was taken from http://artsonearth.com/tag/natural, the second and third of Aurora are gifts from Google ;)

Hope you guys liked it :)

Goodnight!

Moments

Beauty, I see, as you run, 

                     Hair wild, arms open, bare feet

From the cool sand, into the cold water,

                     And the morning waves, you greet

Music, I hear as you laugh,

                   Mischievous, childlike, and innocent

Cheeks flushed with a rosy hue,

                   Which the morning air lent

A waltz, I imagine, you dance,

                  Graceful and elegant, each move

And the waves surge around you,

                  As if to a silent melody, they groove

Freedom, I experience, through you,

                  Arms thrown open, head held high

Ready to embrace the whole world,

                  Like the seagulls we see, free to fly

Dreamy, I feel, as you move again,

                 Winking, your full lips curve into a smile

As steps towards me you slowly take,

                 With fervor, ardor, I'm overwhelmed for a while

Love, I understand, as you take my hand,

                 Into my eyes you stare, awe and wonder

My fingers brush your cheek softly,

                In that moment, my soul, to you I surrender

Perfection, I experience, with you in my arms,

                Time stops, only heartbeats heard, no other sound

Together, we watch the sun rise over the ocean

                Life, in you, its meaning, I found

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Life's meaning...sometimes you find it in those few perfect moments just looking at someone you love.  

Just a little something I penned down a while ago...hope you guys like it.

I'll be back soon, I promise :)

Pic courtesy: Google, and The Notebook (The movie).

Following Him Around!

Well, remember the little girl I've been telling you about, lately? She has one more very important person in her life...

Wearing a pretty little frock,

A red ribbon in her hair

The little one peddled away,

On her little bicycle, looking everywhere

She was sure he'd gone that way,

She'd seen him leave before

She'd asked him to wait for her,

But he had just run out the door

He'd left with his friends,

To her, they looked big and wise

She was just a little kid,

Just not one of the guys

Still she was determined to find him

She had no one else to go to

Who else would play with her?

No one, she thought, knowing it was true

Ringing her little bell,

She crossed over to another street,

Not seeing a big stone, she tripped

And got a big scratch on her feet

Big fat teardrops rolled down her cheek

As she saw a tear on her favorite dress

Her hands were scraped, so were her knees

Dirt and dust everywhere, she was a mess

She got up again slowly,

Picked up her cycle and walked

Sniffling but trying to be a big girl,

Still a little bit shocked

She reached the playground finally,

And breathed out in relief

There he was, with his friends

Now, he'd take away her grief

And he turned around,

As she called out his name

But his smile turned into a frown

And angry he became

And she got scared

As he walked towards her,

How annoyed he was the last time,

Now she seemed to remember

He seemed a bit embarrassed,

And roughly told her to go away

He didn't give her a chance to speak

He said he had to go back to play

As he started to turn away,

He noticed something on her knee

Her face red and swollen

The little frock torn and dusty

He felt a tinge of worry and shame,

And stopped down to see her properly,

With a finger, he brought her chin up

She was hurt, now he could see

He felt his heart twist painfully,

Because it hadn't been her fall alone

That had caused all the hurt

But a mistake of his own

He took her little hand in his,

And kissed her on the cheek

He told her, "I'm sorry kiddo"

And then started to speak

"You can play with me,

Any and every time you say"

"I'll teach you everything I know,

You'll be a pro one day"

As she smiled a little at that,

His game and friends, he forgot

And they started walking home

Like a big brother he thought

Never run ahead to leave her behind,

He'd always catch her if she fell

Just as she was to their parents,

She was his baby, as well

He'd scare her with spooky stories,

But then calm her down after a while

He'd fight with her like anything

Then make her laugh and smile

He'd be there for her each day,

He'd be her best friend

He'd give her advice without preaching

With her, he'd never pretend

While crossing the same street where she'd fallen,

The little girl had a thought of her own

She could follow her big brother around now

And she turned to whisper a thank you to the stone

...................................................................................................................................................................

This one was for my big brother's birthday on the 25th of October! <3

Pic Courtesy: Google!

Monsters Under My Bed

The little girl cried in her sleep,

And woke up with a start

She got down from her bed,

Clutching her doll to her heart

She walked slowly in the dark,

Her tiny bare feet shaking with fear

Out of her room and into the hallway,

A plump cheek red, the culprit a tear

She reached a closed door,

And pushed with all her might

She could just make out in the darkness,

Two figures silhouetted by the moonlight

She climbed onto the big bed, 

Reaching the tall man, she cuddled close

Sniffing silently, as she stared at him,

As he shifted a bit, she froze

The man woke up suddenly,

To the sound of a soft purr

Feeling little fingers clutching his shirt, 

He turned around, and saw her

He saw his little baby, her face red,

He felt his heart break into two

As she curled up next to him in fear,

Something was wrong, that he knew

He sat up and took her in his arms,

And he asked, "Sweetheart, are you okay?"

"What's the matter? Did you see a bad dream?"

But with her doll, she absently began to play.

She mumbled in her baby voice, 

Her eyes full of fright, as she nodded

"Daddy, I saw big monsters chasing me,

Because you forgot to check today under my bed"

The man felt his throat dry up,

And felt a love so strong

He felt an urge to keep her safe,

To shield her from everything wrong

He picked he up in his arms, 

Cradling her like the baby she was

And padded down quietly to her room,

To right the wrong, for which he was the cause

He tucked her into bed once more,

And then opened the closet and checked,

He looked under the bed and checked again

He assured her, that his little baby he'd always protect

"No monsters, no ghosts, no evil

Will ever get to you darling",

"Daddy will always be there for you

He'll keep you safe from everything"

He stroked her hair softly

And crooned for her, her favorite lullaby,

As her eyes fluttered close, he watched her

A fallen star that came to him from the sky

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I've been away for a long while (many reasons)...so I'm going to post three poems today that I wrote during that period starting with this one!

I'd written this poem on my dad's birthday on the 22nd of October...Hope you all like it :)

Pic courtesy: Google (Don't know what I'd do without you! ;))

Mommy

The little girl stood there,

Tears welling up in her eyes

"Don't go please", she begged

"I won't say any goodbyes!"

Fear overtook the little one,

What was she supposed to do?

A plan hatched in her little mind,

And what a tantrum she threw

At least that delayed the moment,

For a while it would be the same

For she wasn't going to be left behind,

And that was her only aim

She cried her heart out,

And screamed liked a banshee

She stomped her feet on the ground,

What a little genius was she!

The woman watching this for a while,

Now walked towards the girl

She watched a tear roll down her cheek,

Shining like a perfect pearl

The little girl sneaked a peek,

Looked like her plan had been a success

For she saw the woman come towards her,

And she quickly forgot her distress

"You don't want me to leave?",

Asked the woman of the baby

"Never ever", came the soft reply,

"What ever the reason may be"

"Why is that?", the woman wondered,

Curious about what the child would say

The little one's answer, she never could've guessed

It simply took her breath away

"Because whenever you're away,

I feel so sad and blue

I never know anything,

Everything feels strange and new"

"Because whenever you're away,

Something refuses to fit

A piece from a puzzle or a game,

And I always have to quit"

"Because whenever you're away,

The days seem longer somehow,

The nights more darker,

No moonlight they allow"

"Because whenever you're away,

There's no one there to care,

No one to kiss away my bruises,

No one to braid my hair"

"Because whenever you're away,

I never get ice cream or cakes,

There's no one to talk to,

Or to heal my heart, if it breaks"

"Mommy, so please don't ever leave me,

Wherever you go, take me too

Without you I'd be lost forever,

Because that's how much I love you"

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Happy 50th Birthday to the most beautiful woman on earth! I love you sooo much 'ma :* It's hard not to...you're the most amazing person I've ever known :) I hope we have a perfect day together today.

Thank you for always being there and always being who you are, for always knowing what to say and what to do, for always being our best friend, for always caring, for never letting go and never leaving us behind no matter what.

Hope you liked the post :) :*

The beautiful lady with me in the pic at the center is my mum. Ain't she gorgeous?! :)
Pic courtesy: The lovely Mystic :)
Rest of the pics are from my beloved Google :p

See you around guys :)

Mother, the ribbons of your love are woven around my heart.  ~Author Unknown